Inside this smart, secure woman, lives a little girl who deeply needs to know she is beautiful.
The Ugly Truth About Female Beauty in Our World
"Daddy watch!" she calls as she twirls around the living room in her dress. "Daddy, look at me! Do you think I'm pretty?" Pink and twirly matters a lot when you are five.
So then why at age 31, this hardworking, secure, grown-up mom is still (silently) asking the same question: "Do you think I'm pretty?
Am I smart and amazing?" I ask this question a lot. And I know I'm not the only one because I talk to a lot of girls who feel the same way. The little girl inside still wants to know "am I beautiful?"
I think in a culture where women are bombarded with expectations to lose weight, look younger, look sexy, actually, look perfect, that question has killer consequences. I have personally seen first hand the effects on woman who do not feel beautiful inside or out. I think you would be surprised to hear that the rise in eating disorders today is not with teenage girls. It is with the middle aged moms and wives. The middle aged mom who on the outside has it all together, but on the inside does not feel beautiful. I have a few close friends who are suffering from this. It's really hard for me to watch someone close to me, who I think is gorgeous, harm their body to make it look better. And I know eating disorders can be derived from several different issues, but for my friends who I have discussed this with, it is because they just don't feel pretty enough.
Everyday we are faced with these images around us of how we are supposed to look. You know, the perfect Hollywood body. That's beautiful right? If only we looked like her we would be happy right?
I am totally at fault for having those feelings. Especially since I've had children. My body ain't like it used to be! (sniffle). I'm so imperfect. My body is flawed and has major battle scars (ok some stretch marks) from my beautiful babies.
Well who cares!! Ok who am I kidding..I totally care! That's the thing. All women care to a point. I think the trick is learning to not care so much. I know that for me, it's not just feeling beautiful..it's feeling beautiful to him. Whether that was my husband or now in my life, a boyfriend or someone I really like. I just want to know that I, and all of my imperfections, are beautiful to him.
To the Guys
If guys could know one thing about us woman, this is what they should know...
"You're not just the guy who shares our space, you're our most important mirror. You're the man who can reflect back to us how beautiful you think we are. You're the man whose opinions of us are the best cure for the worldly pressures that stalk our thoughts. So even if it's not in your nature to say it very often, we need to hear specific, honest compliments and especially being told we are beautiful."
(And girls..FYI, guys want the same thing)
It's about learning to love what we see in the mirror. Our real beauty. Not the size of pants we wear.
Embrace the hot momma you are!
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6 comments:
Like I told you on the phone very profound and I agree 100%. We all need to take a stand for our little girls in our lives so they don't have to put up with this in the future.
Michele, this is so true and amazingly accurate! You have such beautiful insights! Being a girl is so tough, but it beats being a boy hha I miss you so much and hope you know how truly and honestly beautiful you are!
You put it exactly. Society is so screwed up these days with how everything should be and we all get caught up in it cuz its constantly in our faces! Your such a good example for your kids Michelle!
Michele, it is so sad that women are led to feel this way. I wrote about it on my blog emnacnud.blogspot.com. I have been frustrated to find that as I reach my goal weight and as skinny as I should be, that I still was not feeling the joy I wanted to feel from being pretty (that is my sept 28th post)
this post I wrote today was more on where you can find the feeling of being pretty and of feeling loved for who you are, I hope you read it. And I hope you know how much I love you.
Love Emily
You are beautiful inside and out...but it doesn't matter who tells you that. You won't believe it until your Father in Heaven bears witness of it in your heart. And I love that He does that to even those that runway producers would not consider "beautiful" outside. If your heart is right with God you are beautiful. Accessorizes and makeup definitely help us believe it. :-) Love you Michele!
I do agree with Emily and Laura, that yes, it is important to feel that love and admiration from our Heavenly Father first and foremost, BUT we also have to realize that it is the men in our lives who are the spokesman for our Heavenly Father physically reaffirming to us that we are beautiful inside and out, head to toe, perfect and imperfections. There is power in overcoming our insecurities with ourselves when we lean on our Heavenly Father, but I do believe that most woman do need to hear it from their man. It's natural to want to be accepted for everything we are not as well as everything we are. LOVE YOU SHELLY
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