Life is Never Plan A...

Here we go!..confessions from a divorced mormon mom of 3, who is only slightly out of her mind and happily living off of red bull and 6 hours of sleep while her amazing children enjoy a nice warm meal of chicken nuggets and tator tots only 3-4 times per week, and even though she has a new job that takes a lot of her time..this mom still finds time to read, play, nag, learn super mario bros on wii, and yes, be the loudest sports mom there ever was ..:)

3 words-What.. A ..Year!!
I can honestly say this has been the worst and best year of my life.
Is it possible that a whole year can go by so fast in the blink of an eye, yet still feel like your world is in slow motion?
In a year, can you experience and feel every single human emotion possible, yet at times, still feel numb and emotionless?
Well, welcome to my life..otherwise known as, Plan B. It has definitely been a train ride through crazy town around the Newman house this year! We have all experienced many emotions, good and bad, doubts, fears, bitterness, happiness, denial, excitement, anger, love and loss. But, my favorite emotion, The one that is now a constant emotion in my life, is
ACCEPTANCE.
At some point this year, a sense of acceptance took over, and then something awesome happened. I stood up, dusted myself off, held my head up and I was able to accept and let go of the things I cannot change from the past, look forward to the the future and new beginnings, learn from it, and become a better woman from it. Of course it's still hard sometimes, and I have tons of faults and weaknesses I can be better at, but as for my heart and my life, I am happy, content, and at peace. I am so grateful for the close people in my life who have helped me this past year. My family and best friends let me be me, know me, and love me for me. Fortunately, I am very blessed to have a very amicable relationship with Jeff. I have accepted that some marriages are meant to be, and some are meant to be friendships. Like I have said before, the people I love more than anyone on the face of this earth, and the people he loves more than anyone on the face of this earth are the same people..our children. We will always be tied together. What's wrong with this picture? All the kings horses and all the kings men, couldn't put it back together again. Ok, then let's be friends! Deal? Deal!
I feel like as a gift to our children who didn't ask for this, the least we can do is have an amicable, mutual respect for eachother and a co-parenting relationship. it's made life easier on all of us. Obviously every divorce is unique and different, and this this isn't always the case with everyone. I have personally seen first hand how one parent can be uncooperative and bitter, while the other is trying to put emotion aside, act mature and have an amicable relationship. It's frustrating to watch sometimes.
I never thought I would be grateful for the hard times. But the reality is, I am a better person today. I'm happier and I have learned a lot about myself. It's kind of a wake up call to stare at your face in the mirror and know you have things you need to change. I'm learning to realize what really matters in life. I'm discovering what true love really is and I look forward to the future. I'm definitely juggling a lot of balls in my life right now, and I have my "jesus take the wheel days" but life is great, children are healthy and I talk a lot! (hope this doesn't sound like rambling)

Mom, Cassidy and Dad. Cassidy had an absolutely beautiful baptism last weekend. Her grandpa Newman baptize her and her grandpa Sambrano confirm her. It was a wonderful day with lots of family and friends.

Mom and Cassidy on her Baptism Day