Butterfly Fly Away

For the past couple of months, we have had some new family members in our home that have kept us very entertained...7 of them to be exact. 

These little sweeties came to us as teensy weensy caterpillars and have grown into beautiful butterflies.  The process of watching these caterpillars turn into butterflies was so fascinating to all of us!  We spent many hours watching and caring for these little babies.  I refuse to call them insects because I have fallen in love with our little butterflies and they are part of our family now (laugh all you want, I love them).  The time has come to let our little babies fly away and it was Cassidy's idea that we let them fly free in remembrance of her cousin James who passed away 5 yrs ago tomorrow. 

eensy weensy little caterpillars

 Big fat hungry caterpillars

The Chrysalis or Cocoon

           Beautiful Butterflies

Fly Away

Butterfly fly away..

Flap your wings now you can't stay

Take those dreams and make them all come true

Butterfly fly away..

We've been waiting for this day

All along and knowing just what to do

Butterfly fly away..

We love you sweet angel James...

photographs

 Today was that day...the day I stared into my cluttered craft room and decided I had to de-clutter and clean out! Now that we are moving soon, I have been doing a lot of de-cluttering and de-junking around this house.  Jeff has the kids this weekend, so it's nice and quiet around here and I've been getting a lot done.  Turned on my ipod, ready to get to work de-cluttering yay!

Wow, I hadn't been through these photos or old keepsakes in years!

Box one...old highschool photos! I was so young once! Dang prom was fun! Aww the good old days:)

Keep, throw away, keep, throw away...

I started going through some pictures I hadn't seen in a while...the birth of my first born, my daughters kindergarten graduation, our family trip to Yellowstone with our best friends, first Christmas with our new baby...wow what fun, old memories! A lot of the pictures absolutely cracked me up! Man these memories seemed like a lifetime ago!!

What do I do with all these old pictures?  I don't think I can get myself to throw them away...

My favorite song came on my ipod right then, Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Suddenly I felt a knot it my stomach, then a lump in my throat, I kind of knew what was coming.  I literally was telling myself, "don't you dare do it, don't you dare!"  I felt the tears start to burn my eyes, I couldn't help it.  Sitting on the floor in my craft room.. and the tears came and came.  I cried..and cried

I imagine this has happened to several other people who have been divorced or maybe lost someone and gone through old photos that brought back memories.
I felt a million different emotions in just a few minutes...sadness for the old memories, happiness that the memories existed, loneliness, a little scared for the upcoming changes, frustration that I was even put in this position to begin with, content with my life, proud of how strong I am, hope for the future...lots of emotions!!  I sat there wondering what am I supposed to do with all these photos.  My friend suggested I make a box for each kid and keep some old family photos in each box along with some keepsakes.  I think that is a great idea. 

It's funny how my blog used to be a "get caught up with the Newman fam" kind of blog.  I feel now, it is a place for me to express myself, or a place to vent if you will.  I'm not going to lie, sometimes, divorced life can get extremely lonely.  Sometimes the hustle and bustle of everyday life with kids, work, bills, homework, cleaning, cooking dinner, being taxi mom, can become a little overwhelming.  When you finally get the kids to bed and breathe that sigh of relief... listen to the sound of peace and quiet... then realize you really wish you had someone to talk to about your day.... and then look at the big empty bed you get to crawl into alone... it is a feeling that MANY people besides me have felt, and it is a feeling I wouldn't wish upon anybody. 

I hope I don't ever come off as if I am having a pitty party.  I am so happy with my life and feel so blessed with all that is in my life...but sometimes we all have to feel...and we all feel differently.

Today I remembered a lot of old memories, Some I threw away, some I saved and some will be in my heart forever.

What a Picture!!

I thought this was absolutely amazing!

  

"Hand of Hope."

A picture began circulating in November. It should be 'The Picture of the Year,' or perhaps, 'Picture of the Decade.' It won't be. In fact,unless you obtained a copy of the US paper which published it, you probably would never have seen it.

The picture is that of a 21-week-old unborn baby named Samuel Alexander Armas, who is being operated on by surgeon named Joseph Bruner.

The baby was diagnosed with spina bifida and would not survive if removed from his mother's womb. Little Samuel's mother! , Julie Armas, is an obstetrics nurse in Atlanta . She knew of Dr Bruner's remarkable surgical procedure. Practicing at Vanderbilt Univ Med Ctr in Nashville , he performs these special operations while the baby is still in the womb.

During the procedure, the doctor removes the uterus via C-section and makes a small incision to operate on the baby. As Dr Bruner completed the surgery on Samuel, the little guy reached his tiny, but fully developed hand through the incision and firmly grasped the surgeon's finger. Dr Bruner was reported as saying that when his finger was grasped, it was the most emotional moment of his life, and that for an instant during the procedure he was just frozen, totally immobile.

The photograph captures this amazing event with perfect clarity The editors titled the picture, 'Hand of Hope.' The text explaining the picture begins, 'The tiny hand of 21-week-old fetus Samuel Alexander Armas emerges from the mother's uterus to grasp the finger of Dr Joseph Bruner as if thanking the doctor for the gift of life.'

Little Samuel's mother said they 'wept for days' when they saw the picture. She said, 'The photo reminds us pregnancy isn't about disability or an illness, it's about a little person.'Samuel was born in perfect health, the operation 100percent successful.

AMAZING!!

A Real Life Fairytale...or something kind of like that

ONCE UPON A TIME...there was a beautiful princess, with long brown hair and not a care in the world.  She could sleep in whenever her heart desired and her meals were magically prepared for her every night.  She used to be able to consume whatever she wanted without ever gaining a pound and the words mortgage and grocery list were just words she'd only ever heard other people speak about.  The princess used to day dream of being a grown up and how wonderful life would be! Well, now the princess is all grown up and wakes up each glorious day to the sound of...

.mom mom mom mom mom mom momma momma momma momma momma mother mother mother mother mom mom mom mom mom!...ouch she hit me! where's my homework? I need new cleats for baseball! the toilet's over flowing! I hate this dinner! my bearded dragon needs more crickets! I'm hungry! mom mom mom mom momma momma momma mom mom mom...

Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

haha..ok this is a little exaggerated! Obviously I'm not a real princess you guys!

But sometimes, I do feel like my life is a circus! I'm sure like most moms I feel like I'm juggling several different things at once.  There is never a dull moment in the Newman house that's for sure!

So last week was a very busy one for us! Jaydan started baseball again, and I start my job as team mom again. I spent a fun filled day at court as I was picked to be on a jury of 6 people! What are the odds? It was a very interesting experience actually. The case was my worst nightmare, but the whole process was a good experience. Besides working, most of my time has been primarily focused on getting our house in tip top shape to sell...because...we are moving!!  Yes, I have decided to leave beautiful Colorado and move to Arizona so the kids can live closer to their dad. (Jeff was transferred to AZ for work)  I know this is the best thing for my children and is a small sacrifice on my part.  I am so excited for this new adventure in our lives!  We won't be moving until the kids are out of school, so I have plenty of time to prepare for the big move! I love how Cassidy put it..she said, "mom, are we just writing another chapter in our life book? Luv that!  

 Yes, just another chapter in our book of life! We'll keep you posted...

There are so many things I'm going to miss about Colorado...

Goodbye Nuggets, Broncos, Rockies, Avs

Goodbye Red Rocks Ampitheatre..Def Leppard and Journey was an awesome concert!  I will miss running these stairs! 

Goodbye snow forts..I will not miss you

Goodbye skiing...I would rather be on the lake wakeboarding anyways!

Goodbye Colorado court room forever!

Jury room

Goodbye GiGi's cupcakes..you really helped me through some hard times!!

Ok this one stays with me forever!

I can't even think about or bear the thought of saying goodbye right now to the most important people in my life yet.  The friends who have been there for me through 10 birthdays, two births of my babies, vacations together, many girls nights out, and days when I couldn't even get out of bed because of sadness and heartache...they were there.  It will be very hard to leave them!  Can't wait see what my new adventure has in store for me! Maybe a husband perhaps?? who knows! Heat! I know that for sure! Another thing I know for sure...
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON AND THE BEST IS YET TO BE!

Happiness is a Choice...being a Debbie Downer is optional

Did you know that happiness is a choice? I know it doesn't always seem like it but it is. Just think about it. How can someone who has everything in life be miserable and yet someone that hardly has anything can be amazingly happy? It comes down to what they choose. Happiness is a conscious choice that we must make.

I have to be honest, the reason I wanted to write this post, was because over
the past week I have been a little bit of a debbie downer...whaa whaa...

I was just talking about this yesterday with a good friend of mine (who happens to
be a very positive person who always sees the glass half full!) I love people like
that in my life! We were talking about the effect negativity can have on people.
The truth is, the world is full of different personalities. You have the person who
has gone through trials and chooses to be the victim and publicly bashes or blames,
or the person who chooses to rise above and learn and grow from their trials.
I have definitely played both of these roles at one time or another in my life! Right
after my divorce, I had someone tell me to always hold myself with dignity and class
and never ever talk ill about my ex husband. Those words always stuck with me! Have
there been times when I didn't always hold myself with dignity?? YES! I'm only human.
There have even been times when I was completely immature and said something I shouldn't
have or stomped my foot like a child. (OK I never stomped my foot like a child but I
wanted to!) We have all been there! I have several people in my life who are such great
examples to me by their actions and how they consciously choose to be happy regardless
of their circumstances.

So today I introduce 2011 Project Be Happy!...(as i hear my kids running through the house
fighting and yelling "mommy!") And even though I hear World War 3 going on downstairs..I am
happy! So happy and so blessed for those little angels!!...ok I have to go I hear a kid crying
now...remember..be happy be happy be happy


"Be happy and always model maturity, dignity and integrity whenever challenges occur"

Florida Trip

Jaydan and I just recently took a quick trip to sunny Florida to visit Nicole and her fam! The main reason I went out was because we ran in the Disney Princess half marathon.  We've  been training for this race for a few months now and boy am I glad it's over! My good friend Peggy talked me into doing this with her so I set the goal and started training.  I could barely run 3 miles when I started.  I know there are so many natural runners out there who love to run run run.  Ummmmm, let's just say, I'm NOT that person!  Don't love running, never got the runners high, and my toenail fell off.  This took a lot of dedication and hard work on my part!  It feels so good to set a challenging goal and accomplish it though!  I didn't get the BEST time, or come in first place, but I crossed that finish line and I experienced a rush of emotion I have never felt before! I'm so glad I got to share in this experience with my twin sis and my dear friend peggy who is like a sis to me!  I can't forget my little man, Jaydan who was the first person to come up and hug me after my race.  He said, "mom I am so proud of you! You made it!"  Those words coming from my sweet 11 yr old son mean more to me, and have such a deeper meaning than he could ever know.  What would I do without that little guy!

 "Achievement...It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves." – Edmund Hillary

Michele and Peggy

Mom and Jaydan

Taking a quick detour during the race to take a pic with these hottie race car drivers!

Finished!!

Trae, Jaydan and Brody! Supporting their mommas!

This is what you do after a half marathon...lay on the couch and watch sports center with aunt Shelly.  I love my sweet little Ryah!!

These boys fished all day everyday right in Nicole's backyard!

I love this little girl so much!!

Let's not forget our friend, Mr. snake, who decided to show up IN Nicole's house! And the screams coming from two grown women no one should ever have to witness!

The small little moments...

Lately for me it seems like I have over looked the small little things in my life.  I have been pre-occupied with so much that I haven't taken any time to stop and smell the roses.  Some things that I may think are a big deal or that affect me, really are very trivial when I stop and think about it.  Life is too short and my children are growing too fast for me to not pay attention 100%.  Life's not the breath we take, but the moments that take our breath away...