just a side note...

Well, it seems that one or two of my posts have gotten a little more attention recently.  First of all, I just want to say that I appreciate every single opinion and comment from everyone! A blog would be boring if no one else added their input right? Most of the time I get great input, and sometimes I get bad input.  Today it's been from people I don't even know and has been a little hurtful. Quite a few personal messages today.

I just want to clarify that my recent post was not about eating disorders and I was not down playing the seriousness of that topic. I apologize if it came off that way and thank you for bringing it to my attention.  Also, it was not my intention to make this last post seem as if women (or me) NEED to hear compliments to feel beautiful. Most of us don't need it, we like it.
I teach my daughters everyday that they are daughters of God and He will always love us for who we are no matter what.  It absolutely does not matter how many people tell you how amazing and pretty you are or how many compliments you receive, if you do not have the affirmation in your heart that you are a daughter of God or feel happy with who you are, then you're right, a compliment will only last for a moment and then be forgotten about.
 When I write my blog posts, sometimes I am writing what I happen to be feeling at that moment.  I 100% believe that compliments, especially from the person we love, are food for our soul.  Kind of goes back to the book, The Five Love Languages.  One of my love languages happens to be words of affirmation.  I like to be told.
Sometimes we know we are daughters of God.  Sometimes we have  had God witness his love for us and we are so happy with who we are on the inside and out...but even so..sometimes the little girl in us just wants the man we adore and love to whisper in our ear and tell us we are the most beautiful woman in the world.

Thank you for your comments and for being interested in my posts and my crazy little life!!  Now, I am going to get back to eating my children's Halloween candy and folding laundry.  Have a wonderful night!
Michele

"I can live for two months on a good compliment." Mark Twain

The Girl in the Mirror

Inside this smart, secure woman, lives a little girl who deeply needs to know she is beautiful.

The Ugly Truth About Female Beauty in Our World

"Daddy watch!" she calls as she twirls around the living room in her dress. "Daddy, look at me! Do you think I'm pretty?"  Pink and twirly matters a lot when you are five.  

So then why at age 31, this hardworking, secure, grown-up mom is still (silently) asking the same question: "Do you think I'm pretty?

Am I smart and amazing?" I ask this question a lot. And I know I'm not the only one because I talk to a lot of girls who feel the same way. The little girl inside still wants to know "am I beautiful?"

I think in a culture where women are bombarded with expectations to lose weight, look younger, look sexy, actually, look perfect, that question has killer consequences.  I have personally seen first hand the effects on woman who do not feel beautiful inside or out. I think you would be surprised to hear that the rise in eating disorders today is not with teenage girls.  It is with the middle aged moms and wives. The middle aged mom who on the outside has it all together, but on the inside does not feel beautiful. I have a few close friends who are suffering from this. It's really hard for me to watch someone close to me, who I think is gorgeous, harm their body to make it look better.  And I know eating disorders can be derived from several different issues, but for my friends who I have discussed this with, it is because they just don't feel pretty enough.

Everyday we are faced with these images around us of how we are supposed to look. You know, the perfect Hollywood body.  That's beautiful right? If only we looked like her we would be happy right? 

I am totally at fault for having those feelings. Especially since I've had children. My body ain't like it used to be! (sniffle). I'm so imperfect. My body is flawed and has major battle scars (ok some stretch marks) from my beautiful babies. 

Well who cares!! Ok who am I kidding..I totally care! That's the thing. All women care to a point.  I think the trick is learning to not care so much. I know that for me, it's not just feeling beautiful..it's feeling beautiful to him.  Whether that was my husband or now in my life, a boyfriend or someone I really like. I just want to know that I, and all of my imperfections, are beautiful to him. 

To the Guys

If guys could know one thing about us woman, this is what they should know...

"You're not just the guy who shares our space, you're our most important mirror. You're the man who can  reflect back to us how beautiful you think we are.  You're the man whose opinions of us are the best cure for the worldly pressures that stalk our thoughts. So even if it's not in your nature to say it very often, we need to hear specific, honest compliments and especially being told we are beautiful."

 (And girls..FYI, guys want the same thing)

It's about learning to love what we see in the mirror. Our real beauty. Not the size of pants we wear. 

Embrace the hot momma you are!

:

Life is too short...

A good friend of mine shared this song with me just yesterday!  I cannot get enough of it! It's called If I Die Young. I don't know why I love it so much! It's just really powerful to me.  I think it's because we all know someone who has died young, a family member, or maybe a friend who didn't get to live a full life. I know I am not ready to die!  I have so much to do, so much to say, so much love to give to someone, so much to see and experience with my children.  I'm not ready to die this young.  But we don't have a say in this.  We can be taken home at any moment.  

Make the most of whatever time we are given, whether it’s 2 years or 20 years. Whatever time we’re given will be absolutely enough as long as we make the most of it.

"ONE DAY AT A TIME..THIS IS ENOUGH.  DO NOT LOOK BACK AND GRIEVE OVER THE PAST FOR IT IS GONE.  DO NOT BE TROUBLED ABOUT THE FUTURE, IT HAS NOT COME.  LIVE IN THE PRESENT AND MAKE IT SO BEAUTIFUL IT WILL BE WORTH  REMEMBERING."

"PEOPLE WILL FORGET WHAT YOU SAID, FORGET WHAT YOU DID, BUT THEY WON'T FORGET HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL." 

Candy for dinner. Ya you heard me! I said CANDY FOR DINNER!

Today I woke up.  The past couple of nights have been sleepless.  That's me, sleepless in Denver.  Sleepless in Denver, lying awake and wishing I could rewind time.  Lying awake realizing too little too late exactly what I should have done.  What I need to change and how I'm going to fix things so I can stop lying awake in denver and live life to its fullest!! Happily in love and without any insecurities regarding trust and getting hurt and being intimidated by the future. Just wanting to live life and let it happen on its own.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not a insecure person.  I am a strong confident woman who isn't easily intimidated and doesn't care a whole lot what people think. I just have some insecurities.  There is a difference in having insecurities and being an insecure person. 
Ok, I have no idea what this post is about anymore..oh ya, candy for dinner. So, today I woke up.  Made the kids pancakes.  Oh wait rewind....checked emails on phone first, then made pancakes.  Have I mentioned I am so grateful for modern technology, but it really gets annoying after a while. Sometimes I want to take my blackberry torch and torch it where the sun don't shine! Maybe I'll just go back to Wyoming where you get no cell service. Most relaxing 4 days I've ever had. Anyway, then I exercised. (just signed up for half marathon..yikes!)  Got 3 calls from work.  Kayleigh had a fever today.  She layed in my bed next to me while I worked on my computer.  Knock on the door. Jehovah's witnesses stopping by again.  Heaven help me.  Sweetest little ladies, I have no idea what they are talking about.  I tell them I belong to the true church.   Now it's about noon.  I'm hungry.  Kayleigh girl is so sick I give her some motrin and try to get her to eat. Knock on the door.  It's a salesman.  Selling meat.  Who the heck sells meat door to door.  Yelllloooow that's dumb. Anyway, I clean the kitchen and go get my baby.  No not Kayleigh, my Dyson vacuum.  Best vacuum ever.  Go upstairs, pack for my trip this weekend. Get about a million calls from political recordings. oh so annoying! More work on computer.  Kids come home. Wisk Cass off to dance, Jaydan to football for yet another practice before playoffs, and Kayleigh is feeling better.  I run to the store to get milk and spot one of those huge bags of candy for Halloween.  I need Halloween candy so I grab it.  Off we go, home to make dinner then scouts. I see the bag of candy sitting there in the seat next to me as I drive home.  I spot a tootsie roll.  I looooove tootsie rolls.  I open the bag and eat one. Ok it's impossible to eat just one tootsie roll.  I had another, then another, then another...Oh my gosh I just ate a half a bag of tootsie rolls! Most people would stop and say I just ate half a bag of candy, this is not good I'm going to stop. I said, oh well, I just ate half a bag of candy I might as well eat the other half now.  And...I did.  I ate a bag of candy for dinner.  I was in a reallly good mood tonight too. Signing off...sleepless in Denver...on a sugar high!!

Mom, mom, MOM, Mooooom!!! Is this month over yet??

It was never in my life plans to be a single, working mother at age 31. But as we all know, life is never plan A right? Anyway, life is really testing my patience this month!
Ugh! Where do I begin?
I love my job with a passion! I get to teach, sale, socialize and travel around Colorado to different spas and doctor's offices. It's awesome and I love it. However, it is demanding, and my kids and I are all adjusting to me working. Luckily, I get to work from home a few days a week and travel around a couple days a week. Kayleigh goes to my friend Natalie's twice a week usually. So this month has been my busiest yet! Kayleigh has only tried to hide my computer twice and is doing much better at not climbing in my bed in the night. Jaydan is crazy busy with fball, scouts (gets his Arrow of Light next week), he tried out for his school news channel and made it, and has only liked 2 girls this yr so far. All my kids have been sick 2 or 5 times this month and luckily, I haven't gotten it too bad. Cassidy is in theater classes, dance and a show choir for girls her age and started achievement days! She just made it in a new play and rehearsals are in full effect! Ugh for mom and double ugh for the money that goes into it! Her makeup even has to be from a specific store. But she is a darling little performer and she loves it! So, the other day Cassidy came home from school and informed me that her legs were hairy. She said so and so from school told her that she has hairy legs and she should shave. I of course said no freakin way and decided to let her in on a little secret called..you are part mexican. I told her she can shave when she's older. Oh the drama!
Can we all take a moment of silence for DJ who ran away, got taken to the pound and is not coming home. Ok, I'm not that mean. He's our one eyed dog named Derek Jeter for heavens sakes (by the way go Yankees!)I got him out and gave him to a family that will take much better care of him. Anyhoo, don't even miss him.
I'm just ready for the holidays! November and December make me happy. I have so many amazing friends who help me out and just love me.
Goodbye October! Bring on the Turkey and stuffing Baby! and please say a prayer for my stupid expedition that it will stop being stupid and breaking down for no reason.

Life is Never Plan A...

Here we go!..confessions from a divorced mormon mom of 3, who is only slightly out of her mind and happily living off of red bull and 6 hours of sleep while her amazing children enjoy a nice warm meal of chicken nuggets and tator tots only 3-4 times per week, and even though she has a new job that takes a lot of her time..this mom still finds time to read, play, nag, learn super mario bros on wii, and yes, be the loudest sports mom there ever was ..:)

3 words-What.. A ..Year!!
I can honestly say this has been the worst and best year of my life.
Is it possible that a whole year can go by so fast in the blink of an eye, yet still feel like your world is in slow motion?
In a year, can you experience and feel every single human emotion possible, yet at times, still feel numb and emotionless?
Well, welcome to my life..otherwise known as, Plan B. It has definitely been a train ride through crazy town around the Newman house this year! We have all experienced many emotions, good and bad, doubts, fears, bitterness, happiness, denial, excitement, anger, love and loss. But, my favorite emotion, The one that is now a constant emotion in my life, is
ACCEPTANCE.
At some point this year, a sense of acceptance took over, and then something awesome happened. I stood up, dusted myself off, held my head up and I was able to accept and let go of the things I cannot change from the past, look forward to the the future and new beginnings, learn from it, and become a better woman from it. Of course it's still hard sometimes, and I have tons of faults and weaknesses I can be better at, but as for my heart and my life, I am happy, content, and at peace. I am so grateful for the close people in my life who have helped me this past year. My family and best friends let me be me, know me, and love me for me. Fortunately, I am very blessed to have a very amicable relationship with Jeff. I have accepted that some marriages are meant to be, and some are meant to be friendships. Like I have said before, the people I love more than anyone on the face of this earth, and the people he loves more than anyone on the face of this earth are the same people..our children. We will always be tied together. What's wrong with this picture? All the kings horses and all the kings men, couldn't put it back together again. Ok, then let's be friends! Deal? Deal!
I feel like as a gift to our children who didn't ask for this, the least we can do is have an amicable, mutual respect for eachother and a co-parenting relationship. it's made life easier on all of us. Obviously every divorce is unique and different, and this this isn't always the case with everyone. I have personally seen first hand how one parent can be uncooperative and bitter, while the other is trying to put emotion aside, act mature and have an amicable relationship. It's frustrating to watch sometimes.
I never thought I would be grateful for the hard times. But the reality is, I am a better person today. I'm happier and I have learned a lot about myself. It's kind of a wake up call to stare at your face in the mirror and know you have things you need to change. I'm learning to realize what really matters in life. I'm discovering what true love really is and I look forward to the future. I'm definitely juggling a lot of balls in my life right now, and I have my "jesus take the wheel days" but life is great, children are healthy and I talk a lot! (hope this doesn't sound like rambling)

Mom, Cassidy and Dad. Cassidy had an absolutely beautiful baptism last weekend. Her grandpa Newman baptize her and her grandpa Sambrano confirm her. It was a wonderful day with lots of family and friends.

Mom and Cassidy on her Baptism Day

Cassidy turns 8

My baby girl is not a baby anymore :( Cassidy turned 8 yrs old this month and will be baptized this Saturday! She is my little princess and way too much like her momma in so many ways! She asked for makeup and pedicures for her birthday gift...need I say more?? Don't let her pretty smile fool you! She is quite the tomboy and very much like her daddy in so many ways!! She got a real BB gun for her bday from her dad!

Special thanks to my brother in law Jon for taking these beautiful pictures of my daughter.