Newman Family

I Can Do Hard Things..

2012-01-04T10:54:00.000-08:00

I have always been a strong person. Strong-minded, strong-willed, and when something is placed in front of me, I rarely give up or say I can't do it.. because I can do hard things.

But sometimes, something is placed in front of us that is so hard to do, you just don't want to do it..

This month has been hard.

I have done some pretty hard things in my short life so far.
I gave birth 3 times...that was dang hard. I ran a half marathon...ugh..hard! I moved to another state with 3 kids..will never do that again..too hard! I have gone through a divorce...one of the hardest things I've ever done. I got through them all and I can look back and say..wow! I can do hard things...and I'm stronger because of them.
Yes, I can do hard things, but right now, I am going through something that's just too hard..
I feel ready share ...

On Dec.7th 2011, I went through the hardest thing I have ever had to go through so far..
losing the love of my life to suicide.

For the past 6 months I have been head over heels in love. I reconnected with Paul and we started dating in July 2011 when I moved to Arizona. Paul and I went to Junior High and Highschool together in Orem, UT. It was really fun to reconnect and reminisce about old times and the fun we had working at 7-peaks water park together back when we were 16 yrs old. Paul and I learned very quickly that we had something special. A love and friendship I have never felt or shared with someone in my entire life. He made me laugh everyday we were together, and receiving a love letter was an everyday occurance. I told Paul all the time he was my real life Superman. I felt like he could do anything! He could fix anything he could lift anything, he killed every scorpion and spider that even dared get near my house because he knew how deathly afraid I was. He was always there for me whenever I needed. He could hear in my voice if I was having a bad day and poof! there he was with flowers or chocolates to make everything better! One thing I know for sure...Paul loved me, he was my best friend and I knew I wanted to marry him one day. I had dated for 2 long years and finally found my dream boy...and I was going to hold on to him for dear life!
Unfortunately, Paul has had a really rough year. He never dwelled on the hard times he was going through. He was always very positive and probably hid more pain from me than I was aware of. The one thing in this world that made Paul the happiest were his 4 beautiful children. I have never seen a father love his children as deeply as Paul loved his.
In November, Paul was feeling pretty low. We talked on several occasions about how everyone goes through trials in their lives and the storm would soon pass. Things were starting to look up. About 3 weeks before Paul died, him and I spent an entire day ring shopping. This was a big step for me and he was so kind and gentle with me as he said.."now Michele, this doesn't mean we are getting married next month, it just means we are looking so we can get an idea of what you like." He knew marriage was a big step for me and I was careful not to rush things and to make sure it would be right when we made that decision. That was one of the funnest days of my life and we laughed and enjoyed every second of that day. I knew I wanted to marry him.
I will talk on a very real level now, because I feel like this is important to share. I probably will never talk about Paul's death again or the events leading up to it...I feel that when someone passes away, we should not relive the past or dwell on how they died. I have too many amazing memories about him I want to share and remember instead. However, suicide is a very real subject. In the month of December alone, I have heard of 3 other people who have taken their lives besides Paul. I am here to say, that we did see the warning signs with Paul. Many people loved and reached out to him who were aware of the depression he was dealing with. On Monday Dec. 4th, Paul met with a doctor and discussed what he was feeling. She prescribed him depression medication and I was relieved. Mostly because I couldn't bare the thought of him living in pain and sadness and thought this medication along with my love and support would make him feel better.
On Tuesday, we texted all day as usual and he was having a good day! He closed a deal at work, got to my house that evening and ate dinner with us, helped me put my kids to bed, hugged each one of them and said prayers with us. We watched a Will Ferrell movie on TV and cracked up the whole time while he rubbed my feet (I was totally spoiled). We looked at some houses on the computer we were thinking of buying down the road when we got married and cuddled and talked. About 11:00pm we were getting tired and decided to call it a night. I walked Paul to the front door and we kissed and hugged good night like two little teenagers. I just could not bare to say goodbye this particular night. I watched him as he walked out my door and turned the corner. That was the last time I would ever see him.
On Wed. morning, I did not receive my ritual 8:45 am call from Paul. I didn't read too much into it. I got side tracked by a phone call from my sister and realized at 9:15 I still hadn't heard from him. The feeling we often get when something is wrong came over me and I hopped in my car, pajamas and all and headed straight to his house. I saw his car out front. At first I got a sinking feeling, then realized he was probably just sleeping in. I did not get an answer at the front door. There was no way for me to get in the house. I called his roommate in a panic and luckily he came straight home. The next few minutes, and hours are too hard for me to write about and would not be appropriate to write about. The feelings that arise when I think about them again are beyond any pain I have ever experienced. I mostly just remember sirens, I remember wondering why my legs wouldn't work, and the most gentle and kind police woman who I know was meant to be there for me that day. Paul knew he was my real life superman, but my real hero that day was Paul's roommate Glen, who protected me from seeing things I shouldn't see and sheltering me from experiencing even more pain than I already had to go through. I then had the excruciating task of calling Paul's mom and dad and ex wife.
The next few days are a blur. The guilt of "If only", and "What if" set in real quick. The hurt I felt for Sarah and the children was unbearable. The nurturer in me wanted to be there for his mom because I knew how close her and Paul were, I ached for his siblings because they were such a close family...and I hurt and longed for my boyfriend, my best friend.
It has been 4 weeks today since Paul has been gone. I still get very frustrated and have so many unanswered questions. Time is my friend. When tears come, I don't fight it. I have had many nights where I have cried myself to sleep. But also many nights where I have experienced things so spiritual that time and sacredness would not allow me to write them down. The Veil is very thin and I feel blessed to have peace and comfort in my life right now. I am trying very hard to not ask God why did this happen..but instead, what am I supposed to learn from this.
Through my Savior Jesus Christ, my pain and burdens feel lighter. I am slowly learning what I am supposed to learn from this..it will take a lifetime for this to happen.
Grief is a funny thing. It comes at the weirdest times and leaves as quickly as it came. I am overwhelmed with humility and gratitude for the service and support my family, friends and people who don't even know me have shown me. I was not only in love with paul, but I was in love with his children. I am so happy to have those 4 little angels who I adore still be a part of my life.(thank you sarah)
I know one day I will need to move on again. I know one day I will be happy and in love again. I know I will be a stronger and better woman for the hard things I have experienced.
To the greatest man who ever loved me..I love you Paul Ryan Phipps

If you, or someone you know, is in suicidal crisis or emotional distress please call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or visit http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

And now, I'm glad I didn't know, the way it all would end, the way it all would go.
Our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain, but I'd of had to miss the dance...

2011-09-29T10:32:00.000-07:00

Dear Arizona...I guess you're not so bad

2011-07-03T18:50:00.000-07:00

Goodbye Colorado...Hello new life

Well I did it! I finally made the big move to Arizona! June was a busy, stressful month! We are finally here and we are getting settled, but I'm not sure it feels like home quite yet. It was very difficult to say goodbye to the place I've known for the past 10 yrs, and especially saying goodbye to amazing friends I've grown to love.

The kids are so excited to finally live so close to their daddy and are loving AZ so far!

It's HOT here, but I will get used to it I'm sure:)

“The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.”

goodbye house I love...time for me to shut the door and move on...

last picture in our house

Welcome to AZ... our new house

Who needs anything else when you have a pool in the backyard! What lucky kids!

“There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction”

Busy momma. Simple life.

2011-05-13T19:13:00.000-07:00

Busy momma, noisy world.

trying to live a Simple life...

just the way I like it!

A simple life has a different meaning and a different value for everyone. For me, it means eliminating the chaos, not taking on too much, learning to say no, not wanting the best or having the most and spending my time doing what’s important to me.

Trying to juggle work, kids, spirituality and just life can get really overwhelming sometimes!! But trying to find the right BALANCE in my life is something I have had to learn and it is what keeps me sane and makes me happy. Choosing how I spend my time and who I spend my time with and making sure to be a mommy, but still have time to take care of myself and not "lose" myself and who I am in this busy, noisy world.

Recently I had the fun experience of being part a charity event where

I got to get dressed up and be in a calendar for BMW vintage motorcycles. So much fun!

All the proceeds from the calendar go to the For My Mama Foundation. Cassidy

thinks her momma is pretty cool beans!

Meet my new friend Tara...

This precious little 4 yr old had me at hello!! I fell in love!

Tara is part of the kids Hope Foundation. Her sweet little

spirit and cheerful attitude really helped me realize what is most

important in life....and the things most important to me are not things.

Here we go again! Another year of my favorite sport, and another year I

agreed to be team mom. We keep very busy with baseball!

J Diggity Dog!!

He's such a great little pitcher I'm so proud of him!

Fun Time!!

My friend JC brought over all of his creepy crawlies for

the kids to play with. They were in heaven!

Cassidy holding hissing cockroaches...ewww

Tarantula!!

That would be me holding the Tarantula!

Really poisonous scorpion...in my hands...I am scurred!!

I'm definitely keeping busy with working as the rep for Glymed and now taking over the AZ

territory. I spend a lot of time teaching classes and working with wonderful people!

It's such a fun job!

Teaching a Chemical Peel class

Some might say I am an over-acheiver...they would be correct.

Making caramel apples for the baseball team and their mothers for Mother's Day.

Cassidy and Kayleigh...over achievers in training.

Honestly, one of my favorite things to do is cook and bake...especially with my kiddos!

The girls and I had so much fun making these caramel apples

Finished apples! ummmm....Martha Stewart whooo???

What is it about a sleeping child that makes you looove them soo much!!

Mother's Day Card

Cassidy's First dance (at my friends wedding)

Kayleigh running away to Yew Nork..mad at mommy!

Butterfly Fly Away

2011-04-19T21:00:00.000-07:00

For the past couple of months, we have had some new family members in our home that have kept us very entertained...7 of them to be exact.

These little sweeties came to us as teensy weensy caterpillars and have grown into beautiful butterflies. The process of watching these caterpillars turn into butterflies was so fascinating to all of us! We spent many hours watching and caring for these little babies. I refuse to call them insects because I have fallen in love with our little butterflies and they are part of our family now (laugh all you want, I love them). The time has come to let our little babies fly away and it was Cassidy's idea that we let them fly free in remembrance of her cousin James who passed away 5 yrs ago tomorrow.

eensy weensy little caterpillars

Big fat hungry caterpillars

The Chrysalis or Cocoon

Beautiful Butterflies

Fly Away

Butterfly fly away..

Flap your wings now you can't stay

Take those dreams and make them all come true

Butterfly fly away..

We've been waiting for this day

All along and knowing just what to do

Butterfly fly away..

We love you sweet angel James...

photographs

2011-04-09T18:35:00.000-07:00

Today was that day...the day I stared into my cluttered craft room and decided I had to de-clutter and clean out! Now that we are moving soon, I have been doing a lot of de-cluttering and de-junking around this house. Jeff has the kids this weekend, so it's nice and quiet around here and I've been getting a lot done. Turned on my ipod, ready to get to work de-cluttering yay!

Wow, I hadn't been through these photos or old keepsakes in years!

Box one...old highschool photos! I was so young once! Dang prom was fun! Aww the good old days:)

Keep, throw away, keep, throw away...

I started going through some pictures I hadn't seen in a while...the birth of my first born, my daughters kindergarten graduation, our family trip to Yellowstone with our best friends, first Christmas with our new baby...wow what fun, old memories! A lot of the pictures absolutely cracked me up! Man these memories seemed like a lifetime ago!!

What do I do with all these old pictures? I don't think I can get myself to throw them away...

My favorite song came on my ipod right then, Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Suddenly I felt a knot it my stomach, then a lump in my throat, I kind of knew what was coming. I literally was telling myself, "don't you dare do it, don't you dare!" I felt the tears start to burn my eyes, I couldn't help it. Sitting on the floor in my craft room.. and the tears came and came. I cried..and cried

I imagine this has happened to several other people who have been divorced or maybe lost someone and gone through old photos that brought back memories.
I felt a million different emotions in just a few minutes...sadness for the old memories, happiness that the memories existed, loneliness, a little scared for the upcoming changes, frustration that I was even put in this position to begin with, content with my life, proud of how strong I am, hope for the future...lots of emotions!! I sat there wondering what am I supposed to do with all these photos. My friend suggested I make a box for each kid and keep some old family photos in each box along with some keepsakes. I think that is a great idea.

It's funny how my blog used to be a "get caught up with the Newman fam" kind of blog. I feel now, it is a place for me to express myself, or a place to vent if you will. I'm not going to lie, sometimes, divorced life can get extremely lonely. Sometimes the hustle and bustle of everyday life with kids, work, bills, homework, cleaning, cooking dinner, being taxi mom, can become a little overwhelming. When you finally get the kids to bed and breathe that sigh of relief... listen to the sound of peace and quiet... then realize you really wish you had someone to talk to about your day.... and then look at the big empty bed you get to crawl into alone... it is a feeling that MANY people besides me have felt, and it is a feeling I wouldn't wish upon anybody.

I hope I don't ever come off as if I am having a pitty party. I am so happy with my life and feel so blessed with all that is in my life...but sometimes we all have to feel...and we all feel differently.

Today I remembered a lot of old memories, Some I threw away, some I saved and some will be in my heart forever.

What a Picture!!

2011-04-08T19:02:00.000-07:00

I thought this was absolutely amazing!

"Hand of Hope."

A picture began circulating in November. It should be 'The Picture of the Year,' or perhaps, 'Picture of the Decade.' It won't be. In fact,unless you obtained a copy of the US paper which published it, you probably would never have seen it.

The picture is that of a 21-week-old unborn baby named Samuel Alexander Armas, who is being operated on by surgeon named Joseph Bruner.

The baby was diagnosed with spina bifida and would not survive if removed from his mother's womb. Little Samuel's mother! , Julie Armas, is an obstetrics nurse in Atlanta . She knew of Dr Bruner's remarkable surgical procedure. Practicing at Vanderbilt Univ Med Ctr in Nashville , he performs these special operations while the baby is still in the womb.

During the procedure, the doctor removes the uterus via C-section and makes a small incision to operate on the baby. As Dr Bruner completed the surgery on Samuel, the little guy reached his tiny, but fully developed hand through the incision and firmly grasped the surgeon's finger. Dr Bruner was reported as saying that when his finger was grasped, it was the most emotional moment of his life, and that for an instant during the procedure he was just frozen, totally immobile.

The photograph captures this amazing event with perfect clarity The editors titled the picture, 'Hand of Hope.' The text explaining the picture begins, 'The tiny hand of 21-week-old fetus Samuel Alexander Armas emerges from the mother's uterus to grasp the finger of Dr Joseph Bruner as if thanking the doctor for the gift of life.'

Little Samuel's mother said they 'wept for days' when they saw the picture. She said, 'The photo reminds us pregnancy isn't about disability or an illness, it's about a little person.'Samuel was born in perfect health, the operation 100percent successful.

AMAZING!!

A Real Life Fairytale...or something kind of like that

2011-03-16T15:53:00.000-07:00

ONCE UPON A TIME...there was a beautiful princess, with long brown hair and not a care in the world. She could sleep in whenever her heart desired and her meals were magically prepared for her every night. She used to be able to consume whatever she wanted without ever gaining a pound and the words mortgage and grocery list were just words she'd only ever heard other people speak about. The princess used to day dream of being a grown up and how wonderful life would be! Well, now the princess is all grown up and wakes up each glorious day to the sound of...

.mom mom mom mom mom mom momma momma momma momma momma mother mother mother mother mom mom mom mom mom!...ouch she hit me! where's my homework? I need new cleats for baseball! the toilet's over flowing! I hate this dinner! my bearded dragon needs more crickets! I'm hungry! mom mom mom mom momma momma momma mom mom mom...

Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

haha..ok this is a little exaggerated! Obviously I'm not a real princess you guys!

But sometimes, I do feel like my life is a circus! I'm sure like most moms I feel like I'm juggling several different things at once. There is never a dull moment in the Newman house that's for sure!

So last week was a very busy one for us! Jaydan started baseball again, and I start my job as team mom again. I spent a fun filled day at court as I was picked to be on a jury of 6 people! What are the odds? It was a very interesting experience actually. The case was my worst nightmare, but the whole process was a good experience. Besides working, most of my time has been primarily focused on getting our house in tip top shape to sell...because...we are moving!! Yes, I have decided to leave beautiful Colorado and move to Arizona so the kids can live closer to their dad. (Jeff was transferred to AZ for work) I know this is the best thing for my children and is a small sacrifice on my part. I am so excited for this new adventure in our lives! We won't be moving until the kids are out of school, so I have plenty of time to prepare for the big move! I love how Cassidy put it..she said, "mom, are we just writing another chapter in our life book? Luv that!

Yes, just another chapter in our book of life! We'll keep you posted...

There are so many things I'm going to miss about Colorado...

Goodbye Nuggets, Broncos, Rockies, Avs

Goodbye Red Rocks Ampitheatre..Def Leppard and Journey was an awesome concert! I will miss running these stairs!

Goodbye snow forts..I will not miss you

Goodbye skiing...I would rather be on the lake wakeboarding anyways!

Goodbye Colorado court room forever!

Jury room

Goodbye GiGi's cupcakes..you really helped me through some hard times!!

Ok this one stays with me forever!

I can't even think about or bear the thought of saying goodbye right now to the most important people in my life yet. The friends who have been there for me through 10 birthdays, two births of my babies, vacations together, many girls nights out, and days when I couldn't even get out of bed because of sadness and heartache...they were there. It will be very hard to leave them! Can't wait see what my new adventure has in store for me! Maybe a husband perhaps?? who knows! Heat! I know that for sure! Another thing I know for sure...
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON AND THE BEST IS YET TO BE!

Happiness is a Choice...being a Debbie Downer is optional

2011-03-05T09:49:00.000-08:00

Did you know that happiness is a choice? I know it doesn't always seem like it but it is. Just think about it. How can someone who has everything in life be miserable and yet someone that hardly has anything can be amazingly happy? It comes down to what they choose. Happiness is a conscious choice that we must make.

I have to be honest, the reason I wanted to write this post, was because over
the past week I have been a little bit of a debbie downer...whaa whaa...

I was just talking about this yesterday with a good friend of mine (who happens to
be a very positive person who always sees the glass half full!) I love people like
that in my life! We were talking about the effect negativity can have on people.
The truth is, the world is full of different personalities. You have the person who
has gone through trials and chooses to be the victim and publicly bashes or blames,
or the person who chooses to rise above and learn and grow from their trials.
I have definitely played both of these roles at one time or another in my life! Right
after my divorce, I had someone tell me to always hold myself with dignity and class
and never ever talk ill about my ex husband. Those words always stuck with me! Have
there been times when I didn't always hold myself with dignity?? YES! I'm only human.
There have even been times when I was completely immature and said something I shouldn't
have or stomped my foot like a child. (OK I never stomped my foot like a child but I
wanted to!) We have all been there! I have several people in my life who are such great
examples to me by their actions and how they consciously choose to be happy regardless
of their circumstances.

So today I introduce 2011 Project Be Happy!...(as i hear my kids running through the house
fighting and yelling "mommy!") And even though I hear World War 3 going on downstairs..I am
happy! So happy and so blessed for those little angels!!...ok I have to go I hear a kid crying
now...remember..be happy be happy be happy

"Be happy and always model maturity, dignity and integrity whenever challenges occur"

Florida Trip

2011-03-03T14:59:00.000-08:00

Jaydan and I just recently took a quick trip to sunny Florida to visit Nicole and her fam! The main reason I went out was because we ran in the Disney Princess half marathon. We've been training for this race for a few months now and boy am I glad it's over! My good friend Peggy talked me into doing this with her so I set the goal and started training. I could barely run 3 miles when I started. I know there are so many natural runners out there who love to run run run. Ummmmm, let's just say, I'm NOT that person! Don't love running, never got the runners high, and my toenail fell off. This took a lot of dedication and hard work on my part! It feels so good to set a challenging goal and accomplish it though! I didn't get the BEST time, or come in first place, but I crossed that finish line and I experienced a rush of emotion I have never felt before! I'm so glad I got to share in this experience with my twin sis and my dear friend peggy who is like a sis to me! I can't forget my little man, Jaydan who was the first person to come up and hug me after my race. He said, "mom I am so proud of you! You made it!" Those words coming from my sweet 11 yr old son mean more to me, and have such a deeper meaning than he could ever know. What would I do without that little guy!

"Achievement...It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves." – Edmund Hillary

Michele and Peggy

Mom and Jaydan

Taking a quick detour during the race to take a pic with these hottie race car drivers!

Finished!!

Trae, Jaydan and Brody! Supporting their mommas!

This is what you do after a half marathon...lay on the couch and watch sports center with aunt Shelly. I love my sweet little Ryah!!

These boys fished all day everyday right in Nicole's backyard!

I love this little girl so much!!

Let's not forget our friend, Mr. snake, who decided to show up IN Nicole's house! And the screams coming from two grown women no one should ever have to witness!

The small little moments...

2011-02-13T21:42:00.000-08:00

Lately for me it seems like I have over looked the small little things in my life. I have been pre-occupied with so much that I haven't taken any time to stop and smell the roses. Some things that I may think are a big deal or that affect me, really are very trivial when I stop and think about it. Life is too short and my children are growing too fast for me to not pay attention 100%. Life's not the breath we take, but the moments that take our breath away...

The fight...

2011-01-21T22:35:00.000-08:00

Today was an interesting day for me. I encountered something I have never had to deal with before...

I heard the garage door open like I do everyday when Jaydan gets home from school. Usually he calls out "hey mom, I'm home!" Today I didn't hear him say anything. I heard wheezing and a very faint..."Mom I'm having an asthma attack." I ran downstairs to get Jaydan's inhaler out of my car and I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw his face. His face and shirt were covered in blood. I grabbed his inhaler and refrained from freaking out!! I didn't even have to ask what happened. Jaydan said "Mom, don't worry, I beat the crap out of the other guy!" Ok what!!!??? You what!!???

Well, turns out a group of 6th graders have been harassing him on his way home from school everyday. We've always taught him to never start a fight, but if he had to defend himself that's ok. He was defending himself.

Nothing can prepare a mom to see her little boy with a bloody face and him all shooken up. I think I handled it well. I was very calm and told him I wasn't mad that he defended himself. He is so sweet...he kept telling me he was fine and to not worry. He went to take a bath and clean up then I went to my room and cried for a minute :)

I just realized that I wish I could protect my kids from the world!

That's impossible, but I wish I could...

I wish I could keep them this little forever...

Silly Newman's

2010-12-27T19:13:00.000-08:00

I posted this on FB a while back, but some of my family and friends who don't have a FB requested I post it on my blog...OK here you go!!

My kids and I on a very boring weeknight deciding we needed to have some fun!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OWNjdKpQgw&feature=player_embedded

Early Christmas!!!

2010-12-21T06:36:00.000-08:00

Well, since the kids are going to be in Cancun, Mexico for Christmas with their dad this year, we had our own little Christmas early!! My kids are so hilarious and it is so cute how grateful they are for such little things sometimes! I am a very blessed mommy!
These videos are SURE to put you in the Xmas spirit!

Santa Message

2010-12-12T14:25:00.000-08:00

This is the cutest thing ever!!

http://www.portablenorthpole.tv/watch/guest/1cpn6eLb99EWZDkg45PTOg

http://www.portablenorthpole.tv/watch/55CQLvBktsFLUoakprb-ww

Don't mess with momma bear...

2010-12-07T09:24:00.000-08:00

So, have you ever had anybody say something to one of your kids and you just lose it!? For the most part, I don't mind if another adult corrects my child or maybe even reprimands them. I think it's good for them sometimes. On the other hand, sometimes a stranger will say something and I lose it! This happened at the bowling alley the other day. Some stranger, said something really rude to one of my kids and I lost it sista!! The purse came off the shoulder, the hands started waving around and my mouth went south. I'm only human.

Someone please tell me I'm not the only one who turns into a bear protecting her cubs when they are crossed!!!

Other than momma bear going on a rampage, life is good! It's funny because I have my very lonely days where being a mom and working is overwhelming and I want to throw my hands up and say "No More!" "I Surrender!" "I Give Up!" I'm Not Strong Enough to do This!"
Then I have my days where I say "I'm a Super Hero!" "I Can Do Anything!" "Bring it On World!"

Ups and downs, ups and downs, I guess that is what life is all about isn't it. I can honestly say that the struggles I have been through over the past couple years have made me a stronger, better person. Over the past year, I have found happiness through my accomplishments and independence as a person and a mother. I have done things I didn't think I was capable of. It's such a great feeling!
NOW...if only I could find someone to share this happiness with...life would be complete. I know, I know, Patience is a Virtue...blah blah blah :)

Cassidy's Christmas performance

Christmas already??

2010-11-30T22:42:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe a whole year has gone by again!! Jeesh time flies!!

Well, we had a wonderful Thanksgiving with some great friends and now we are getting all geared up for Christmas!! My favorite holiday! I have to be perfectly honest though, a part of me is a little sad inside.....this will be the first year I don't get to wake up to kids on Christmas morning :( The harsh reality of divorce...sharing holidays...it sucks!! But I will be fine, and get through it just like I have gotten through anything else...by crying and pouting all day!!..haha JK!! I'm sure I will head down to Utah and be with my family and friends! :)

Luvin the Christmas music, luvin the lights, luvin December!

2011.......BRING IT ON!!!

Thanksgiving dinner with friends

Jen and Michele

Gingerbread house!!

This kept Kayleigh busy for 2 hours!

Best hamburgers in Colorado...Cherry Cricket!

(J dawgs bday dinner)

Dear Santa,

I need a new door knob...

how about a prince charming to come fix my door knob...

I've lived with this for 4 yrs now! It's unfixable!

Cassidy wearing my pajamas, Jaydan in tie die and plaid shorts,

me in broncos santa hat...we are total dorks for real!

GO BRONCOS!

SISTERS..best friends are we..my sisters times 3..

2010-11-26T10:17:00.000-08:00

I recently took a much needed getaway to Arizona with my sisters! Nicole couldn't come though :(

It was nice to get out of this Colorado cold and go sit at the pool in 80 degree weather! My sisters are my best friends and no matter what ups and downs each of us go through, we know we can always count on each other.

Love You Sisters....
Chel and Linds

Can't forget my bestest friend and twin...Nikki

Little Miss Pouty Pants!

2010-11-16T13:52:00.000-08:00

Do you ever have those days where you are just pouty!! Everything gets to you that day, and you feel like you just want to complain to someone!? I totally had one of those days the other day! I woke up to kids bickering over cereal or something silly, then a client got really mad at me and hurt my feelings, and I just decided that my life was dumb. I was letting everything affect me that day and I was acting like a total Debbie Downer pouty pants baby!! Luckily I have awesome people in my life who let me vent sometimes, and just patiently listen to me while I grumble, grumble, grrrr, grrrr, & murmur, murmur! (I know we all have these days and it's ok sometimes, as long as it's not everyday!! Because then it just plain effects your life and who you are)
So on this particular day, my awesome friend told me to watch this video. It was so great! Really made me feel like I wanted to try to have a better attitude everyday when I wake up! I am so grateful for the little things in my life! The pitter patter of little feet every morning, hearing about who Jaydan thinks is pretty at school, Cassidy skipping around the house all day without a care in the world!! I'm grateful I have friends who know the real me and still love me, and for family who just calls to say we are thinking about you. For a home and a job, and health and for so, so so so much!! I hope you love this video as much as I do:) Click on the you tube link below to watch!!

Let's all try a little harder to turn our frowns upside down!! Ok..Bye.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snAjZ8mfoYw

Winterize your skin..beauty tips for glowing, healthy skin

2010-11-11T13:43:00.000-08:00

As if the skin on our face and body doesn’t have enough problems on a daily basis, the dry, cold climate that comes with the winter season can make it worse! As the warm summer months leave us, your tan starts to wear off revealing dull, dry skin. Blah!

Try these tips and tricks to make your skin healthy, glowing and beautiful!

For girls and guys!

#1. Exfoliate, Exfoliate, Exfoliate!!

The reason we need to exfoliate is because dead skin cells build up, build up and build up causing the skin to look ashy and dull. We need to manually remove these dead skin cells to expose our fresh, healthy skin underneath.You can do this by getting a gentle facial scrub (do not use apricot scrubs from st. Ives) and using it once or twice a week in the shower. You can also use an enzyme mask once a week which will eat away dead skin without the harsh scrubbing of a scrub. You can get a facial cleanser with glycolic acid or a night cream with alpha hydroxy acids in it. (which will also prevent wrinkles)

(if you go to a spa or med office, or me, to receive chemical peels, now is the time to do a series of about 6 peels until spring)

#2 Mosturize!!

Once you exfoliate and shed those dead skin cells, be sure to apply a hydrating moisturizer to heal dry, itchy, irritated skin.

#3 Cleanse and Balance
A gentle cleanser will help to revitalize your skin while preventing impurities from clogging pores and causing breakouts. Use a gentle, alcohol-free facial cleanser in the evening. Unless you have persistent problems with acne, avoid ingredients like salicylic acid that may cause excessive drying or irritate the skin.

#4 Don't take hot showers, it dries out your skin.

#5 Drink plenty of water! Coffee, tea, soda and alcohol dehydrate your body. (If you drink more soda than you do water a day, you can bet you will have tired dull skin, your skin will age quicker and your teeth are taking a toll as well.) Just drink water!

#6 Protect your skin
everybody, and I mean everybody should be wearing a light sunscreen everyday! I won't even treat a clients skin unless I know they wear a daily sunscreen. It's not so much about wrinkles and leathery skin. It's about melanoma, the number one cause of death with skin disease. (Don't get me started...)
If you are a sun bather and can't stand to look pale or can't stay away from the tanning salon, try to go a different route and sign up for spray tans instead. If you still can't stay away, limit your tanning bed usage to once or twice a month.

#7 Home Care Products
Everyone should have one or two good quality home, skin care products on their bathroom counter (not oil of olay or dove) I recommend a good night treatment cream or a good daily moisturizer. The difference between an over the counter product like oil of olay vs a professional or medical grade product such as glymed plus (putting in a plug for my company) is that by law, the over the counter product can only penetrate the skin to a certain depth. When you use a higher quality, the product penetrates deeper giving you better cell turnover and visible results quicker. I love using night creams with alpha hydroxy acids or anything with peptides in it.

So, these are just some recommendations! I would love to hear what you all do to winterize your skin and your personal tips and tricks for healthy skin..and hair. What products do you use and like? Any home remedies you use? Do you like spray tans or tanning beds? Let's get some feedback!
(And if you have any questions for me as an esthetician, regarding your skin, I will do my best to answer!)

Another season come and gone

2010-11-06T14:30:00.000-07:00

Today was our last official football game of the season. The Green Mountain Rams 5th grade team did awesome this year! We made it to the playoffs and the boys fought hard, but in the end that dang Highlands Ranch team took the victory and is heading to the Carnation Bowl. Oh well, there is always next year! Jaydan did amazing this season! He plays running back and outside linebacker and is one of the biggest kids on the team. I am one proud momma when I see my son out there on that field! We did have one or two injuries this season, but nothing too serious. Jaydan was in a leg brace for a couple weeks for dislocating his knee, and he was also diagnosed with asthma. Nothing can stop this kid though. I'm so proud of him. He is an amazing athlete, a great student and the best son a mom could ask for!

(I tried to get some video, but missed his touchdowns)

just a side note...

2010-11-04T21:20:00.000-07:00

Well, it seems that one or two of my posts have gotten a little more attention recently. First of all, I just want to say that I appreciate every single opinion and comment from everyone! A blog would be boring if no one else added their input right? Most of the time I get great input, and sometimes I get bad input. Today it's been from people I don't even know and has been a little hurtful. Quite a few personal messages today.

I just want to clarify that my recent post was not about eating disorders and I was not down playing the seriousness of that topic. I apologize if it came off that way and thank you for bringing it to my attention. Also, it was not my intention to make this last post seem as if women (or me) NEED to hear compliments to feel beautiful. Most of us don't need it, we like it.
I teach my daughters everyday that they are daughters of God and He will always love us for who we are no matter what. It absolutely does not matter how many people tell you how amazing and pretty you are or how many compliments you receive, if you do not have the affirmation in your heart that you are a daughter of God or feel happy with who you are, then you're right, a compliment will only last for a moment and then be forgotten about.
When I write my blog posts, sometimes I am writing what I happen to be feeling at that moment. I 100% believe that compliments, especially from the person we love, are food for our soul. Kind of goes back to the book, The Five Love Languages. One of my love languages happens to be words of affirmation. I like to be told.
Sometimes we know we are daughters of God. Sometimes we have had God witness his love for us and we are so happy with who we are on the inside and out...but even so..sometimes the little girl in us just wants the man we adore and love to whisper in our ear and tell us we are the most beautiful woman in the world.

Thank you for your comments and for being interested in my posts and my crazy little life!! Now, I am going to get back to eating my children's Halloween candy and folding laundry. Have a wonderful night!
Michele

"I can live for two months on a good compliment." Mark Twain

The Girl in the Mirror

2010-11-02T22:39:00.000-07:00

Inside this smart, secure woman, lives a little girl who deeply needs to know she is beautiful.

The Ugly Truth About Female Beauty in Our World

"Daddy watch!" she calls as she twirls around the living room in her dress. "Daddy, look at me! Do you think I'm pretty?" Pink and twirly matters a lot when you are five.

So then why at age 31, this hardworking, secure, grown-up mom is still (silently) asking the same question: "Do you think I'm pretty?

Am I smart and amazing?" I ask this question a lot. And I know I'm not the only one because I talk to a lot of girls who feel the same way. The little girl inside still wants to know "am I beautiful?"

I think in a culture where women are bombarded with expectations to lose weight, look younger, look sexy, actually, look perfect, that question has killer consequences. I have personally seen first hand the effects on woman who do not feel beautiful inside or out. I think you would be surprised to hear that the rise in eating disorders today is not with teenage girls. It is with the middle aged moms and wives. The middle aged mom who on the outside has it all together, but on the inside does not feel beautiful. I have a few close friends who are suffering from this. It's really hard for me to watch someone close to me, who I think is gorgeous, harm their body to make it look better. And I know eating disorders can be derived from several different issues, but for my friends who I have discussed this with, it is because they just don't feel pretty enough.

Everyday we are faced with these images around us of how we are supposed to look. You know, the perfect Hollywood body. That's beautiful right? If only we looked like her we would be happy right?

I am totally at fault for having those feelings. Especially since I've had children. My body ain't like it used to be! (sniffle). I'm so imperfect. My body is flawed and has major battle scars (ok some stretch marks) from my beautiful babies.

Well who cares!! Ok who am I kidding..I totally care! That's the thing. All women care to a point. I think the trick is learning to not care so much. I know that for me, it's not just feeling beautiful..it's feeling beautiful to him. Whether that was my husband or now in my life, a boyfriend or someone I really like. I just want to know that I, and all of my imperfections, are beautiful to him.

To the Guys

If guys could know one thing about us woman, this is what they should know...

"You're not just the guy who shares our space, you're our most important mirror. You're the man who can reflect back to us how beautiful you think we are. You're the man whose opinions of us are the best cure for the worldly pressures that stalk our thoughts. So even if it's not in your nature to say it very often, we need to hear specific, honest compliments and especially being told we are beautiful."

(And girls..FYI, guys want the same thing)

It's about learning to love what we see in the mirror. Our real beauty. Not the size of pants we wear.

Embrace the hot momma you are!

Life is too short...

2010-10-31T09:10:00.000-07:00

A good friend of mine shared this song with me just yesterday! I cannot get enough of it! It's called If I Die Young. I don't know why I love it so much! It's just really powerful to me. I think it's because we all know someone who has died young, a family member, or maybe a friend who didn't get to live a full life. I know I am not ready to die! I have so much to do, so much to say, so much love to give to someone, so much to see and experience with my children. I'm not ready to die this young. But we don't have a say in this. We can be taken home at any moment.

Make the most of whatever time we are given, whether it’s 2 years or 20 years. Whatever time we’re given will be absolutely enough as long as we make the most of it.

"ONE DAY AT A TIME..THIS IS ENOUGH. DO NOT LOOK BACK AND GRIEVE OVER THE PAST FOR IT IS GONE. DO NOT BE TROUBLED ABOUT THE FUTURE, IT HAS NOT COME. LIVE IN THE PRESENT AND MAKE IT SO BEAUTIFUL IT WILL BE WORTH REMEMBERING."

"PEOPLE WILL FORGET WHAT YOU SAID, FORGET WHAT YOU DID, BUT THEY WON'T FORGET HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL."

Candy for dinner. Ya you heard me! I said CANDY FOR DINNER!

2010-10-29T00:19:00.000-07:00

Today I woke up. The past couple of nights have been sleepless. That's me, sleepless in Denver. Sleepless in Denver, lying awake and wishing I could rewind time. Lying awake realizing too little too late exactly what I should have done. What I need to change and how I'm going to fix things so I can stop lying awake in denver and live life to its fullest!! Happily in love and without any insecurities regarding trust and getting hurt and being intimidated by the future. Just wanting to live life and let it happen on its own. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a insecure person. I am a strong confident woman who isn't easily intimidated and doesn't care a whole lot what people think. I just have some insecurities. There is a difference in having insecurities and being an insecure person.
Ok, I have no idea what this post is about anymore..oh ya, candy for dinner. So, today I woke up. Made the kids pancakes. Oh wait rewind....checked emails on phone first, then made pancakes. Have I mentioned I am so grateful for modern technology, but it really gets annoying after a while. Sometimes I want to take my blackberry torch and torch it where the sun don't shine! Maybe I'll just go back to Wyoming where you get no cell service. Most relaxing 4 days I've ever had. Anyway, then I exercised. (just signed up for half marathon..yikes!) Got 3 calls from work. Kayleigh had a fever today. She layed in my bed next to me while I worked on my computer. Knock on the door. Jehovah's witnesses stopping by again. Heaven help me. Sweetest little ladies, I have no idea what they are talking about. I tell them I belong to the true church. Now it's about noon. I'm hungry. Kayleigh girl is so sick I give her some motrin and try to get her to eat. Knock on the door. It's a salesman. Selling meat. Who the heck sells meat door to door. Yelllloooow that's dumb. Anyway, I clean the kitchen and go get my baby. No not Kayleigh, my Dyson vacuum. Best vacuum ever. Go upstairs, pack for my trip this weekend. Get about a million calls from political recordings. oh so annoying! More work on computer. Kids come home. Wisk Cass off to dance, Jaydan to football for yet another practice before playoffs, and Kayleigh is feeling better. I run to the store to get milk and spot one of those huge bags of candy for Halloween. I need Halloween candy so I grab it. Off we go, home to make dinner then scouts. I see the bag of candy sitting there in the seat next to me as I drive home. I spot a tootsie roll. I looooove tootsie rolls. I open the bag and eat one. Ok it's impossible to eat just one tootsie roll. I had another, then another, then another...Oh my gosh I just ate a half a bag of tootsie rolls! Most people would stop and say I just ate half a bag of candy, this is not good I'm going to stop. I said, oh well, I just ate half a bag of candy I might as well eat the other half now. And...I did. I ate a bag of candy for dinner. I was in a reallly good mood tonight too. Signing off...sleepless in Denver...on a sugar high!!

Mom, mom, MOM, Mooooom!!! Is this month over yet??

2010-10-22T16:10:00.000-07:00

It was never in my life plans to be a single, working mother at age 31. But as we all know, life is never plan A right? Anyway, life is really testing my patience this month!
Ugh! Where do I begin?
I love my job with a passion! I get to teach, sale, socialize and travel around Colorado to different spas and doctor's offices. It's awesome and I love it. However, it is demanding, and my kids and I are all adjusting to me working. Luckily, I get to work from home a few days a week and travel around a couple days a week. Kayleigh goes to my friend Natalie's twice a week usually. So this month has been my busiest yet! Kayleigh has only tried to hide my computer twice and is doing much better at not climbing in my bed in the night. Jaydan is crazy busy with fball, scouts (gets his Arrow of Light next week), he tried out for his school news channel and made it, and has only liked 2 girls this yr so far. All my kids have been sick 2 or 5 times this month and luckily, I haven't gotten it too bad. Cassidy is in theater classes, dance and a show choir for girls her age and started achievement days! She just made it in a new play and rehearsals are in full effect! Ugh for mom and double ugh for the money that goes into it! Her makeup even has to be from a specific store. But she is a darling little performer and she loves it! So, the other day Cassidy came home from school and informed me that her legs were hairy. She said so and so from school told her that she has hairy legs and she should shave. I of course said no freakin way and decided to let her in on a little secret called..you are part mexican. I told her she can shave when she's older. Oh the drama!
Can we all take a moment of silence for DJ who ran away, got taken to the pound and is not coming home. Ok, I'm not that mean. He's our one eyed dog named Derek Jeter for heavens sakes (by the way go Yankees!)I got him out and gave him to a family that will take much better care of him. Anyhoo, don't even miss him.
I'm just ready for the holidays! November and December make me happy. I have so many amazing friends who help me out and just love me.
Goodbye October! Bring on the Turkey and stuffing Baby! and please say a prayer for my stupid expedition that it will stop being stupid and breaking down for no reason.

Life is Never Plan A...

2010-10-03T13:08:00.000-07:00

Here we go!..confessions from a divorced mormon mom of 3, who is only slightly out of her mind and happily living off of red bull and 6 hours of sleep while her amazing children enjoy a nice warm meal of chicken nuggets and tator tots only 3-4 times per week, and even though she has a new job that takes a lot of her time..this mom still finds time to read, play, nag, learn super mario bros on wii, and yes, be the loudest sports mom there ever was ..:)

3 words-What.. A ..Year!!
I can honestly say this has been the worst and best year of my life.
Is it possible that a whole year can go by so fast in the blink of an eye, yet still feel like your world is in slow motion?
In a year, can you experience and feel every single human emotion possible, yet at times, still feel numb and emotionless?
Well, welcome to my life..otherwise known as, Plan B. It has definitely been a train ride through crazy town around the Newman house this year! We have all experienced many emotions, good and bad, doubts, fears, bitterness, happiness, denial, excitement, anger, love and loss. But, my favorite emotion, The one that is now a constant emotion in my life, is
ACCEPTANCE.
At some point this year, a sense of acceptance took over, and then something awesome happened. I stood up, dusted myself off, held my head up and I was able to accept and let go of the things I cannot change from the past, look forward to the the future and new beginnings, learn from it, and become a better woman from it. Of course it's still hard sometimes, and I have tons of faults and weaknesses I can be better at, but as for my heart and my life, I am happy, content, and at peace. I am so grateful for the close people in my life who have helped me this past year. My family and best friends let me be me, know me, and love me for me. Fortunately, I am very blessed to have a very amicable relationship with Jeff. I have accepted that some marriages are meant to be, and some are meant to be friendships. Like I have said before, the people I love more than anyone on the face of this earth, and the people he loves more than anyone on the face of this earth are the same people..our children. We will always be tied together. What's wrong with this picture? All the kings horses and all the kings men, couldn't put it back together again. Ok, then let's be friends! Deal? Deal!
I feel like as a gift to our children who didn't ask for this, the least we can do is have an amicable, mutual respect for eachother and a co-parenting relationship. it's made life easier on all of us. Obviously every divorce is unique and different, and this this isn't always the case with everyone. I have personally seen first hand how one parent can be uncooperative and bitter, while the other is trying to put emotion aside, act mature and have an amicable relationship. It's frustrating to watch sometimes.
I never thought I would be grateful for the hard times. But the reality is, I am a better person today. I'm happier and I have learned a lot about myself. It's kind of a wake up call to stare at your face in the mirror and know you have things you need to change. I'm learning to realize what really matters in life. I'm discovering what true love really is and I look forward to the future. I'm definitely juggling a lot of balls in my life right now, and I have my "jesus take the wheel days" but life is great, children are healthy and I talk a lot! (hope this doesn't sound like rambling)

Mom, Cassidy and Dad. Cassidy had an absolutely beautiful baptism last weekend. Her grandpa Newman baptize her and her grandpa Sambrano confirm her. It was a wonderful day with lots of family and friends.

Mom and Cassidy on her Baptism Day

Cassidy turns 8

2010-09-20T14:14:00.000-07:00

My baby girl is not a baby anymore :( Cassidy turned 8 yrs old this month and will be baptized this Saturday! She is my little princess and way too much like her momma in so many ways! She asked for makeup and pedicures for her birthday gift...need I say more?? Don't let her pretty smile fool you! She is quite the tomboy and very much like her daddy in so many ways!! She got a real BB gun for her bday from her dad!

Special thanks to my brother in law Jon for taking these beautiful pictures of my daughter.

Love this...so true and so sweet

2010-08-29T13:04:00.000-07:00

True love..is a guy who calls you beautiful everyday, anytime, anywhere. Who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... The boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. True love is realizing they're not perfect--but not settling...appreciating. Suddenly realizing that you have a new best friend. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, "that's her"...

For my Cassidy...

2010-08-23T15:02:00.000-07:00

Last night Cassidy brought something to my attention that was bothering her. She informed me that since she was the middle child, she was not as loved. She went on to explain that since Jaydan was the only boy, he gets a ton of attention, and since Kayleigh was the baby, she gets tons of attention. And she was feeling left out.
Of course I almost started to cry, and I hugged her and explained that I loved her so much, and I loved each of them equally. I knew that she was listening to what I said, but she wasn't buying it. I sat on the couch and held my little girl in my arms and started telling her about the day she was born.
The truth is... a mother has never wanted or loved a little girl more than I wanted a baby girl. When I first held her tiny little fingers and kissed her dark, full head of hair, something in my heart changed.
For the next half hour we talked about why she is so loved, and how my life would not be complete without her.
So, today, it's just for Cassidy.

Lila & Lola...Double Trouble=Double Love

2010-08-22T15:19:00.000-07:00

It has been said that twins skip a generation. Well, my grandma is an identical twin, and sure enough, it skipped a generation! The difference is, my sister and I aren't identical.
It isn't very often I get to see my grandma and Nana (Lila and Lola) because they live in CA. But, they came to Utah a few weeks ago while I was out visiting with the kids. I'm so glad my kids got to meet their wonderful "great twins." They are the funniest little ladies you will ever meet in your life!
When they were younger, they used to be show girls and dance and sing. They were known as the famous Baker Twins. I remember going to Angels stadium every summer with my grandma and now have a love for baseball because of it. And still, at 31 yrs old, I get sung happy birthday from those two every single year.
Two wonderful women, who have been an example and inspiration to me.
I love them so much! xoxo

4 generation picture

My kids with GG, and Nana

Cassidy with the twins

Cassidy absolutely fell in love with her great grandma!

Florida and my best friend

2010-08-09T15:54:00.000-07:00

I got to spend a few days in Florida with my very best friend and twin sister...Nicole. It was kind of a spontaneous trip, but we filled it up with the pool, beach, staying up late, laughing about nothing, and talking about everything! My brother in law Casey is so great, because he knows Nicole and I are both cookoo for cocoa puffs, and when we get together he just puts up with us. We had so much fun, but it was too short:(

I love this picture because we were laughing hysterically about I don't even know what!

Dear Summertime...please don't leave me

2010-08-09T14:57:00.000-07:00

Well, it's official, summer is officially coming to an end. School starts in 2 weeks, and I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet. Ok, who am I kidding?! I will definitely be ready for the kids to start school again! I'm just not ready for what comes soon after that...SNOW! I hate snow. I hate winter. But, I love Colorado, so snow it is.
This has been a great summer. I've had so much fun with my kids! We spent the last 3 weeks in Utah just hanging out at the Lake, the pool, going to movies and being with family.

I hiked the Y in Provo with Jaydan very early one morning. I used to do it all the time as a teenager so I was so excited to take him there! We had so much fun! It was actually way harder than I remember!

Lindon Pool...this pool saves my life when I visit Utah in the summer. Jaydan does the FloRider all day! I need one in my backyard!

Jack and the cousins at the Lake

Mom and Cass

Grandma and girls

My beauties

Simply Happy...

2010-07-07T06:47:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry I haven't updated our family blog for so long! Life has been so busy!

I just spoke in sacrament a couple weeks ago on trials and adversity and I felt like I wanted to share this with my friends and family as well.

I know most of you know what a long year it has been for us. About a year ago I was in a place of such sadness, and hopelessness that I didn't think happiness would ever fill my heart again. Sometimes you plan your life out, and you expect it to go just as planned and be perfect. Then all of a sudden your faced with trials that you would have never in a million years thought you would ever be faced with. It's taken me a while to finally realize that we will each face times of difficulty, and the question is not when we will face them but how we face them.

My favorite song is Where Can I Turn for Peace. I listened to this song over and over and over when I needed to feel comfort.

Where Can I turn for peace,
Where is my solace when other sources cease to make me whole.
When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice,
I draw myself apart, searching my soul

Where, when my aching grows,
Where when I languish,
Where, in my need to know, where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand
He, only One.

He answers privately,
Reaches my reaching,
In my Gethsemane,
Savior and Friend
Gentle the peace he finds
for my beseeching.
Constant he is and kind
Love without end.

This past year, even though it has been bumpy, I have learned and grown more than I could have ever even imagined. I am happy to say that I have graduated school as a medical esthetician and accepted a great job with a company called Glymed Plus as the colorado Rep. I have met so many amazing people who have enriched and blessed my life forever. I am more independent and much more humble. I am a better mother. I cannot explain in words the love I have for my sweet children. We have laughed together, cried together and been angry together. I live for the ballet recitals, baseball games and dancing around the kitchen to music while we clean. Nothing else matters but the simple things in life. Their little spirits keep me going and I love being their mommy! I can't wait for the day when Heavenly Father blesses me with more children...yes, I said more children! Most importantly, I have developed a personal relationship with my Heavenly Father that I had not known before. I appreciate aspects of the gospel and the atonement that I did not understand before. I have a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and without it I would not know true happiness. Life is good and I am simply happy. I know the Lord has a plan for me. I obviously look forward to the day when a righteous man will accept me and my imperfections and I can be married again. Until then, I will be patient and live life to its fullest!

Cassidy in her ballet recital. She was recently in Pinocchio and just tried out and made show choir at her theater school.

Chillin at the pool

The kids are begging me for another dog!

About to show Jaydan where he really gets his athletic talent

My good friend Mary

Jaydan's team went all the way to state
and qualified for the Colorado World Series

We have a 3 wk break then it's time for football

Been soooo Long!

2010-03-22T14:22:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe that it has taken me so long to update my blog!! I will just start to fill you in on what we have been up to these past few months:
Well, after a wonderful Christmas and New Year's spent in Utah, we came home and have been busy ever since. I started school in January and graduate in June as a medical aesthetician. If you are curious what that means, it means I can work under a doctor, or plastic surgeon doing laser hair removal, injections/botox, permanent makeup and a bunch of other fun stuff. For those of you who know me, know this is right up my alley and I am loving every minute of it! I sold my home business, Divine Nature Cosmetics, to a great mother and daughter team and it has been awesome to see how they have grown it into an even bigger business. Other than going to school full time, I taxi the kids around to baseball, scouts, theater class, and ballet. We keep very busy! The kids are very lucky that their dad lives only 10 minutes away from us, and is very involved and helpful in taking care of the kids! We are looking forward to the summer and enjoy spending time with our cousins Genesee, Leslie and Shauna who live very close to us!

My wonderful classmates

This is what I wake up to a few times a week. I'm really trying to get them to all sleep in their own beds all night! Mom gets no sleep!

My boy!

Crazy Sambrano's

Happy Holidays!!!

2009-12-01T15:25:00.001-08:00

Happy Holidays Everyone! So far this holiday season has been wonderful! Halloween was so fun! The kids had a wonderful time. I went to Utah for Thanksgiving and had an awesome time!! It was a little bit hard too because it was my first holiday away from the kids. The kids were with their daddy at Mt. Rushmore and just love to tell the story about how everything was closed on Thanksgiving day and they had soda pop and gas station food for Thanksgiving dinner. They had a blast!!

Christmas is my favorite time of year! The kids and I kicked off December by decorating the house and our xmas tree!

Football season if finally over...Jaydan's team was one game away from going to the Carnation Bowl. They did awesome!

Apparently I'm the most embarrassing mom on the team...
hmmm I just can't imagine why at all!

Kayleigh feeding a goat at White fence farmCassidy being silly

We love that our cousins moved near us!!

Craziness!

2009-09-29T19:25:00.000-07:00

Life has been so crazy lately! Which is probably a good thing for me! I really need to keep busy at this time in my life.

So, Jaydan started football again, Cassidy is now taking theatre classes, which include singing, dancing and acting lessons. Kayleigh started pre-school 2 times a week, and I am...adjusting to new changes in our life.

Football game. Jaydan is #55

My good friend Savina. Our sons have been on the same sports teams for the past 4 yrs. Everyone thinks we are sisters.

First day of school! Hallelujah!

Field Day...Jaydan showing of all of his 1st place ribbons.

Here is a cute story from field day that melted my heart...

Jaydan was trying to break his "blue ribbon record" this year and get more 1st place ribbons than he did last year. Well, he did break his record! He got 2 more blue ribbons than he did last yr. He saw a boy in his class who is not very athletic, and had no blue ribbons. Jaydan said, "mom, he just looked so sad that he couldn't win any blue ribbons!" So, Jaydan went up to this little boy and said, "here! have these two blue ribbons." The little boy ran to his mom and jaydan said he was jumping up and down from happiness! In the end, Jaydan did not bring home his extra blue ribbons, but he made his mom cry and made the day of a little boy who will probably never forget that simple gesture.

She's just a little ball of fire!

Cassidy at field day

Summer is coming to an end...

2009-08-16T21:12:00.001-07:00

I hate that summer is coming to an end so fast! On the other hand, I'm so ready for school to start! We are back in Colorado and ready to start our routines again! Here are a few pics of some of our summer fun!

The kids loved going up to the Provo Temple on Sunday afternoon. Especially to the "secret garden" in the back of the temple.

I love this picture because I had the kids sitting in front of the fountain by themselves and some elders came up and asked if they could get in the picture. The kids thought that was very cool!

Spent the day up at East Canyon with the most amazing people in the world! The Newman Family!

Swimming with Grandma Newman

The famous Cassidy Newman who took 1st place at the rodeo in Mutton Bustin! (it was a very proud moment for me ok!)

July 4th- Stadium of Fire! Trev, elise and mom and dad waiting for Shedaisy and The Jonas Brothers

Jaida and Cassidy. Still waiting for the Jonas Brothers...

Anouncing the Jonas Brothers...

And the moms having way to much fun rockin to the jonas brothers!

At the river. Jaydan getting kisses from Shey and Linds

Mom and kids

My baby

Grandma, kayleigh and Jaydan

My girls

2009-07-28T21:46:00.000-07:00

I would like to start off by saying how grateful and blessed I feel to have such wonderful family and friends who love and support my family unconditionally!
Sadly, I also feel that some judgment has been passed recently...
As in most situations, it is very easy to speculate and give opinions on what could have and should have been done. I guess I realize this because I have done this to other people myself. I realize now that I was absolutely wrong for passing judgment, or speculating on someone or something that I had no idea what was really going on. The fact of the matter is, unless you have walked in that persons shoes, no one should be passing judgment on someones situation. Or saying, "they're justified in getting a divorce, but they're not." Which is a saying I have heard a few times now.
The last thing I want is for this post to sound mean. It's just hurtful to hear things and judgmental comments during an already extremely painful time.
With that said....
We have had a great summer so far, and I'm so sad it is quickly coming to an end! We have been spending almost everyday at a pool a water park or the movies. Entertaining kids is a full time job! I'm just having such a great time with my family and old friends!

I can't forget to mention my little rodeo cowgirl Cassidy who won first place in mutton bustin at the rodeo last week! I'll post a pic later

2009-07-14T20:21:00.000-07:00

I never thought in all of my life that I would be sitting down and writing this message to our dear friends and family...

Sadly, after months of trying, Jeff and I have come to a joint decision to get a divorce and move on in the most amicable way possible. Neither Jeff or I feel it is healthy to dwell on "what went wrong" or try to rehash blame. We both have faults, we both have strengths and we both have tried very hard for a very long time to make it work. We plan to work very closely together in parenting our children with unity and maintaining friendly terms with eachother will be crucial to having that work successfully.

I love the Lord with all my heart and soul. I feel his love and presence during this difficult time. I still have great faith in family, marriage and in love. Jeff and I have these wonderful children whom we adore. The people I love more than any other on the face of the earth, and the people he loves more than any other on the face of the earth, are the same people. Bone of our bone, flesh of our flesh. So we're still inextricably tied together. What's wrong with this picture? All the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put it back together again.

Thank you all for your support, love and prayers.

One Eyed Willy

2009-05-28T16:43:00.000-07:00

As if my life isn't crazy enough... My dog had to go and lose an eye!

I'll make a long story short:

Our big dog Sawyer and the little dog DJ were rough housing last Friday. Sawyer got too rough and bit the back of Dj's neck and severed the muscles from his left eye. I got home and noticed that my dogs eye was almost hanging out of his eye socket. After I screamed and almost fainted, I took him to the vet and he got surgery the next morning. They could not save the eye.

Sadly, we took Sawyer to the pound because he was just too rough for our family. All turned out fine, DJ is doing great, and the kids now call him "One eyed Willy".

Loving May

2009-05-12T09:46:00.001-07:00

I love May! It's sunny, it's warm, it's Derek Jeter season, I mean baseball season and summer is only one month away!

This last weekend was a buzzzzzy one for me! In order to prepare for my Relief Society lesson I spent most of Saturday making my handout. (Welcome to the life of an over-achiever!)

I made 50 bumble bees out of fondant, and put them on top of 50 cupcakes.

Cassidy spent all afternoon helping me!

(Over-achiever in training)

The saying on the bottom of the cupcake says...

"Forgiveness is a funny thing... it warms the heart and cools the sting."

The final product! All the women loved them...and I think they liked my lesson too

Happy Mother's Day!

I was surprised with breakfast and a basket Sunday morning!

Sunday evening, I had about 15 people over for dinner for a

Mexican feast! 4 pans of enchiladas later...we were a happy bunch!

Of course I talked to my momma and told her how much I loved her too!

I have the best mom in the world! It makes me cry when I think about how much

she does for me! And hello...she's beautiful!

The Graduate!

Our little Princess graduated Kindergarten today!

I couldn't focus the camera because I was crying while she walked down the aisle

to the graduation song.

All the kids got up and told what they wanted to be when they grew up. Most said
a doctor or a vet. Cassidy said, "When I grow up I want be a barrel racer in the rodeo."

Just because I'm camera happy

Stronger than the Storm

2009-04-24T13:28:00.000-07:00

To my dear friends, family,
For those of you who have noticed or not noticed, I have been feeling a little bit absent
lately. Kind of like the phrase, "The lights are on, but nobody's home." Needless to say,
the past few months or more have been a little bit of a "storm" in my life. And, since I know I
am not the only one who has ever been put through trials or tribulations, or had my faith tested, I KNOW you understand what I am trying to say.
Please know that I am not avoiding you if I don't answer your call, or I'm not mad at you if I decline the invitation.
I just need some time right now to figure out how to "Turn my Lights back On." I have the most wonderful friends and family a girl could ever ask for! Thank you for you support, prayers and unconditional love.

I've come to realize lately, that difficult times in our life can become an opportunity for growth that may not come in any other way. Most of all, I've come to appreciate aspects of the Atonement that I didn't understood before. I know the Savior understands our pain and if we let him, he will lift our burdens.

Easterssss...

2009-04-14T21:53:00.000-07:00

So for those of you who have seen Nacho Libre, you will understand the inside joke of the word Eastersss. Jaydan and Jeff love Nacho Libre and couldn't get enough of saying Eastersss on Easter.

You will never know by looking at this picture that Kayleigh threw a tantrum 15 min. before because I tried to curl her hair. Cassidy wanted to wear her hair straight with NOTHING in it even though I spent $10 on an adorable white flower for her hair. And Jaydan...oh jeez...once I handed him a hot pink tie to wear to church you would think the world was coming to an end! Basically I had to bribe him with money to wear it. But, alls well ends well and we had a great easter! Pink tie and all!

Daddy and the kids!

We had Easter dinner at our cousin Kathy and David's house! Wow, what a meal!

The kids are counting their easter eggs

Our cousins Mary and Adam

My Three Little Bugs

2009-04-08T22:21:00.000-07:00

I Have three lovable little bugs

Who march through my home each day.

Mess up their rooms in fun and games

And then they are gone to play.

Out in the grass, dirt, and sun

With dolls, and sports, and other fun.

But when their day is done at last

They march back in to eat and bath.

With smiling faces, hugs and kisses

I hope their day was fun and filled

With dreams and granted wishes...

I'm not always the kind of mom who gets down on the ground and plays barbie's or trucks with the kids...but, I do love to spend time with them, and one of our favorite things to do is to cook together! We are making a berry cobbler for Sunday dessert

Clean Up!

Once again, baseball season has arrived! Which means 3 practices a week and 1 or 2

games a week.

Jaydan made the zero flight team which is the highest ranked team in the league.

We are very proud of him if I may brag for a moment!

He is pitching for the first time this year. It's just so cute. He doesn't think
it's very cute when I scream "Good job baby boy!" Just kidding I don't really
do that....ok, maybe I just did it once.

Cassidy has a new hobby too...after trying many other activities such as soccer, ballet,
and gymnastics, she has decided she would like to be a rodeo girl when she grows up.
She now takes horseback riding lessons and loves it!
(of course she had to love the most expensive activity!$$$)

Getting ready to saddle her horse

Grooming her training horse Carousel

I don't think Kayleigh wants to be a rodeo girl...she can't even handle

the smell of the horses

Weekend In California

2009-04-04T23:03:00.001-07:00

Most of you know that my cousin Sheyanne lived with us for 4 months

during her pregnancy. We got very close to Shey and the little baby girl in her belly.

Sheyanne delivered her baby Sienah about a month ago and I headed down to California

last weekend to spend some time with her.

Michele, Sienah and Mommy Shey...she's such a good mommy

The twins...My Grandma and Nana

I was in baby heaven that weekend! Sienah and Jaelyn

Kami and Me

Sisters Weekend!

2009-03-23T21:03:00.000-07:00

My sisters decided to make a spontaneous trip to Colorado to visit me! We had so much fun as usual! Went out to dinner and a movie, went to the zoo with the kids and my two cousins Genesee and Leslie, stayed up late, slept in (oh wait, that was just Lindsay sleeping in), and had so much fun! We were in baby heaven with Jack and baby Skye too!

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Meet the newest members of the Newman Family

2009-02-24T12:09:00.000-08:00

Well, we didn't go too long without getting a new dog for our family. We just loved Daisy so much, we couldn't bear to not have another big dog running around. So, we still have our little Shi Tzu DJ (which is of course short for Derek Jeter) and we just adopted a 6 month old Chocolate Lab/Siberian Husky Mix from the animal shelter. His name is Sawyer. We just love him! The first week with him was a little rough to say the least (just ask Jason and Jessica Carter) but I think he is starting to become familiar with us and his surroundings. Cassidy also adopted a baby gecko and Jaydan now has a new pet rat as well. So, if you want to take your kids on a field trip, just come to our house. We are a full on zoo!!

Our Beloved DAISY 2002-2009

2009-02-09T18:16:00.000-08:00

Tonight was a sad night in the Newman home. Most of you know our wonderful dog Daisy. We got Daisy when Jaydan was 2 years old, and they have been best friends ever since.
Unfortunately, the past few days, Daisy has been acting very sick. It finally got to the point where we had to take her to the vet tonight and they gave us the bad news that she was having severe kidney failure and would not make it thru the night. We made the decision as a family to put her down. We took a few last pictures of us telling our girl Daisy goodbye. Jaydan took it the hardest. Daisy sleeps in Jaydan's bed and under the covers with him every night, so they have a very special bond. The process was quick and painless and very peaceful. Even tho it was very sad, the kids understand that Daisy's spirit is now happier. Cassidy even made the comment that at least Daisy gets to go play with James now. We will never forget the special times we had with our girl Daisy...

Free Photo Session!!

2009-01-31T09:09:00.000-08:00

I thought I would let you all know that my sister-in-law is giving away a free photo session on her blog www.shellygellerphotography.com. You receive the session and the copyright, a $300 value. Just go to her photo blog at Shelly Geller Photography Blog and leave a comment with your name to enter. If you would like extra entries leave your blog address where you have linked a link to the contest. Thanks and Good luck!
Michele

"Friends"

2009-01-23T14:16:00.000-08:00

I know my sister Shannon will appreciate this...
For all you "Friends" addicts, I came across this on youtube. It's my all time favorite scene from the show "friends"

Stepford Wife Syndrome???

2009-01-08T14:59:00.000-08:00

The other day I went to lunch and the mall with my sister-in-law and my sisters. I noticed something this particular day. I noticed girls, I noticed beautiful girls with their perfect hair, perfect couples with their perfect cars. Perfect babies with their perfect bows in their perfect stroller with their perfect mom in her perfect Uggs with her perfect makeup and her perfect body walking around like robots. Maybe I was feeling like this cause I looked and felt like crap! Or maybe, we THINK other people are perfect with perfect lives so we think we need to be perfect too?! How many times do we find ourselves idolizing someone at church, or our neighbor next door. A lot! It's time to get raw! I need to start loving me, pulling all the wires out and taking back natural! I'm going to try this for a while. I'm going to be perfect for myself for once and not worry what others think for a while. I'm going to become my own stepford wife today! So, yes, it's final then, I'm staying in my sweats, and taking Kayleigh to Walmart in her pajamas!

BE HAPPY FOR THIS MOMENT...THIS MOMENT IS OUR LIFE

2009-01-07T22:35:00.000-08:00

2009-01-05T20:53:00.000-08:00

Well, for New Year's Eve, I flew into Utah to surprise Lindsay the day after she had her baby. As I walked into her hospital room, my twin sis from Florida walked out of the bathroom and surprised me! So, I screamed and cried and it was awesome!

Nicole and Michele sleeping in the same bed

The family in the hospital on New Year's Eve
The Sambrano Gang

Oh yeah! You know we know how to PaRtY!!

The best Aunt ever!

Work it...pose it...

Michele and baby Skye!

Sheyanne's Goodbye Baby Shower

2008-12-12T23:26:00.000-08:00

This past week, I had a goodbye baby shower for my cousin Sheyanne who has been living with us for the past 4 months. She will be graduating next week and heading back to California to finish her last trimester of her pregnancy at home. She will be very missed here, and she has been a blessing to our family!

Michele and Shey

Kayleigh absolutely loves Sheyanne

Aunt Allie and Sheyanne at the baby shower

So many friends, and so much support in Colorado!

Aunt Allie, Sheyanne and Michele

Baby Love...

2008-12-08T09:42:00.000-08:00

Baby Kayleigh

(Well, she's not a baby anymore)

Cassidy...posing as usual

Jaydan...
Birthday boy. Turning 9 yrs. old

Thanksgiving Week of Fun!

2008-11-30T19:12:00.000-08:00

This week for the Thanksgiving Holiday, we had my sister Lindsay and her husband Jon come and visit us. We had so much fun!

Jon and Kayleigh

Cassidy in the snow

Mom and Kayleigh catching snowflakes

Snowball Fight!!!

Sheyanne, Michele and kids

Mom and Kayleigh at the Turkey Bowl

Jeff, Jon and Jaydan going for a plane ride with our friend who is a pilot

Jaydan got to fly the plane

Jaydan had a blast!

Florida Vacation

2008-11-26T16:25:00.000-08:00

On our vacation we did lots of:

posing for pictures

a lot of this

a little more of this...

Scuba diving

alligator hunting

sleeping!

held baby alligators

screamed while my husband lured alligators to our boat

goofed off

posing on the beach

An all around great time!!

BABY RYAH

2008-11-10T09:12:00.000-08:00

My swin sis is in Labor! Nicole was scheduled to get induced tomorrow, but she went into labor this morning! We are so excited to see her new baby girl!

Halloween

2008-11-10T09:09:00.000-08:00

Happy Halloween!

New Family Pics

2008-10-27T15:23:00.000-07:00

So, my BFF Jennifer came out Colorado and

took some great pictures of the Fam!

Day at Miller Farm

2008-10-04T17:06:00.000-07:00

My friends and I took our kids to a fun place called Miller Farms last week. You get to pick your own vegetables. The kids loved it!

Kayleigh picking corn
Picking a huge onion
Cassidy on the hayride trailer
All of our veggies! Mom did lots of canning the next day!

Night on the Town

2008-10-04T17:00:00.000-07:00

For Sheyanne's Birthday we had a great night out in Denver. We went to the cheesecake factory and had fun walking around town.

This is Brittany and Sheyanne who have become fast friends

(I was Brittany's Young Women's leader for 6 years. I love her!)

HOMECOMING

2008-09-15T14:25:00.001-07:00

Most of you know by now that my beautiful cousin Sheyanne is living with our family temporarily. We are so blessed to have her here. We love her so much!

She was asked to go to Homecoming with a boy from church named Mike.

HAPPY 6TH B-DAY CASSIDY

2008-09-15T14:15:00.000-07:00

This year was Cassidy's very first friend birthday party. We had a pajama party, a pinata, pancake faces for dinner, and instead of cake they decorated their own cupcakes.
It's my party and I'll pout if I want to

LABOR DAY WEEKEND

2008-09-04T07:24:00.000-07:00

For Labor Day weekend this year, we went to Cheyenne, Wyoming with our family and some friends. A little chilly, but we had a great time!

Cassidy with her baby DJ

Seth and Jeff

Beautiful Wyoming sunset

Sheyanne and Jaydan

(This is my 16 year old cousing Sheyanne who is currently living with us)
Fun around the campfire

Michele and Sheyanne

The girls sunbathing
My favorite people-the Carter's
Rocky and Cassidy

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

2008-08-12T08:26:00.000-07:00

Today the kids started their first day of school.

Jaydan is now in 3rd grade and Cassidy started Kindergarten.

I'm not really the kind of mom who gets all boo hoo when their kids

go to school, but I have to admit, I had a couple tears in my eyes

when Cassidy walked with her class and was getting further and further

away and did not look back.

Jaydan just thinks he is too cool to give us a hug and kiss in front of his friends now

Summer of FUN!!

2008-08-11T15:48:00.000-07:00

TRIP TO LAKE POWELL

We had so much fun in Lake Powell with Jeff's family!

Kayleigh played all day

Newman cousins
Davy and Cassidy

THE KIDS AND I SPENT 2 1/2 WEEKS IN UTAH

JUST PLAYING WITH MY FAMILY

Cassidy and Jaida with their identical twin dwarf hamsters.

Clara and Britney are their names

MY LITTLE SISTER LINDSAY GOT MARRIED!

Jaydan was the ring bearer, and the girls were flower girls

KAYLEIGH LOVES HER GREAT GRANDMA IRENE
CASSIDY AND HER GRANDPA CARL
ME AND MY BEAUTIFUL GRANDMA

Baseball Season is finally over!!

2008-07-06T09:30:00.001-07:00

For the past couple of months, all our family was up to was baseball games, baseball practice or baseaball tournaments.
Jaydan had baseball tryouts for a very prestigious team here called the Roberto Clemente Team. Out of 44 kids, Only 13 made it on the team. This team plays more games and tournaments than the regular 8 year old baseball teams. Needless to say, we went to about 60 games in a 3 month period. I loved every minute of it though. His team made it to the State playoffs, and unfortunately they did not take state. But lucky for me, baseball is now over for the year!!

4th of July

2008-07-06T09:22:00.000-07:00

For the 4th of July, we decided to go camping as a family. We had a great time. As you can see, so did Kayleigh.

Fun with Cassidy

2008-07-06T09:13:00.000-07:00

Lately, Cassidy has been feeling a little left out since we have been so busy with Jaydan's baseball and other stuff. So, I have been trying to spend extra time with her in little ways.
We had a great time making homemade cinnamon rolls together. And they turned out yummy!!

Starting to lose her teeth!

ADDICT

2008-07-05T08:57:00.000-07:00

IT'S A BOY!

2008-06-25T10:17:00.001-07:00

I just got back from a short, spontaneous trip to Utah. My little sister Shannon was scheduled to be induced last Friday to have her 3rd baby. I decided on Wed. that I wanted to go down there. I bought a plane ticket and got there Wed. night. Well, lucky for me, her water broke early on Thursday morning. So, I got to be in the delivery room and watch her give birth. After 2 girls, she finally had a baby boy named Jack (after David's late father).

Me and Shan AFTER her epidural. Doesn't she look happy!

Sister Lindsay, Brother Trevor and his wife Elise visiting the hospital

My mom and Jack

Aunt Shelly and baby Jack

Baby Jack has made me very baby hungry!

BEAUTIFUL NAUVOO

2008-06-11T09:36:00.000-07:00

Jeff and I had the opportunity to go to Nauvoo as a Ma and Pa for our Stake Youth Conference this past week. Words cannot describe the beautiful spirit that fills Nauvoo. My love and testimony for Joseph Smith has grown even stronger.

This is Carthage Jail where Joseph Smith was martyred. The top window is the exact window Joseph fell out of when he was shot.

This is the dungeon room in Carthage where Joseph and the other men were first put.

The temperature in here got to about 120 degrees. The jailer felt so bad for them, he decided to put them in his own personal bedroom. That is the room where Joseph and Hyrum ended up dying.

If you look closely, you can see a bullet hole in this door.

This was the bullet that killed Hyrum Smith.

Michele and Jeff standing on the shore of the Mississippi River where the Saints started their journey.
This building is called the Nauvoo House. This is where the boys and men in our stake slept. It was originally a hotel that Emma Smith ran after Joseph died. Emma also died in this house. We had the amazing opportunity to do baptisms for the dead in the Nauvoo Temple. It is the most beautiful temple font I have ever seen in my life.

The Newman Family on the steps of the Nauvoo Temple. I was known as "Mamasita" the whole trip and the kids called Jeff "Papa Jeffe".

This is the Old Nauvoo Cemetary. They do not allow youth groups up here to do service because of the sacredness of these grounds. However, they made an exception for out stake and we were able to spend about an hour and a half cleaning the old cemetary grounds. There is a very special spirit that resides here.

Our family was put in charge of making a path that leads to the cemetary.

On our way to Nauvoo, we stopped at Liberty Jail in Missouri. This is the original floor from the jail that Joseph spent about 4 months on. The figures in the picture are part of the presentation they give.

This is the Joseph Smith Homestead where Joseph and Emma originally moved to when they first arrived in Nauvoo. The left part of the house was built on later in 1858 by Joseph's son Joseph III
This is the Mansion House. In 1842 Joseph Smith built this beautiful frame house just across the street from the Homestead. Just after its construction, however, a hotel wing was added to accommodate the many visitors to Nauvoo while the Nauvoo House was under construction. It was in this house that the Prophet Joseph Smith lived when the Martyrdon occured. We were able the take a tour of both of these homes. We saw where Joseph and Emma slept. We walked where they walked, and we were able to see some original furniture pieces from the house.

On our way home from Nauvoo, we stopped in Omaha Nebraska at Winter Quarters. This is where the Saints stopped during the winter on their way to SLC.

This is a monument of a mother and father standing over the grave of one of their children.
More than half of the graves in this cemetary are children.

I told a story to my family about a man named Stillman Pond. This man lost 5 of his children on his way to Winter Quarters. While in winter quarters, he lost 4 more of his children. I gave each of the kids in our family a windmill to put on a grave of one of the Pond children. One of those children was a 6 year old boy named Lymon Pond. Not all of the graves are marked with a headstone, but we had a map that told us the locations the bodies were buried. This is a picture of me with my windmill at Lymons burial site.

Michele's Favorite Things

2008-05-22T12:34:00.001-07:00

I was watching Oprah a couple of days ago, and she did a show on her favorite things. I decided I wanted to do a post on some of my favorite things:

This is Mandarin Coriander dish detergent from the "Thymes"

I can't live without it. It is my favorite gift to give people.

I can't live without Mr. Clean Magic Erasers (get the generic kind, they are cheaper)

to wipe away all of the finger smudge marks and crayons off my walls.

Try cleaning your sink, tub

or shower with one too. It works wonders!

This is my favorite nail polish. It stays on for a long time!

My favorite color is magenta cream

OK, this is a product I seriously cannot live without. I use it all day!
This lip gloss goes on so smooth and soft and actually gives your lips a moisture treatment. Since nude lips are the in thing this summer, my favorite color is clear nude!

I love mac cosmetics. My favorite eyeliner is the cream eyeliner in rich ground(a brownish color)

Sally Hershberger is my favorite Shampoo and Conditioner. Not only does it make my hair so soft and smooth, it smells soooo good! I get it at walgreens.
OK, once you try this purse you will be addicted. This is the Miche purse collection. It is a plain black bag, but you have several different shells in different colors and designs. You can switch them out with your outfits. My favorite is the zebra shell.

https://www.michebag.com/pages/how-to

My favorite moisturizer of all time! This makes my makeup go on so smooth!

I can't live without my Tommy Girl perfume! My favorite is Tommy Girl Summer for the summer of course, and Tommy Girl Original for winter.

Alright, here is another product I have been using for years and can't live without. It is AHA souffle with Alpha Hydroxy acid. AHA is proven to help prevent aging, not to mention this prevents me from breakouts and evens out my skin tone. You can get it at Rite Aid or Walgreens.

This is the AHA cleansing soap. I used to be addicted to Dermalogica cleanser until I found this stuff. It's a gentle cleanser with a powerful result! It is just as good as Dermalogica, but for half the price.

Have to have my Orb eyeshadow from Mac! Put it on as a base coat, then apply your normal eyeshadow. Your shadow will look soft, blended and last all day!

Sebastian hair spray is the best of the best! Trust me! It is more expensive than most hairspray's, but it keeps my hair in place all day! No joke! I use the flexible hold if I want more movement in my hair. You can get it at the grocery store.

Some of my other favorite things I can't live without are:
Mineral Makeup, My Ipod!!!

Family Vacation to Orlando

2008-05-21T11:04:00.000-07:00

Well, we just got back from a fabulous vacation in beautiful Florida! My husband participated in the Ford half ironman competition and did awesome! We spent the other days sleeping in, eating good food, swimming, fishing and of course going to Disney World! What a blast!

Notice Jaydan's Mohawk! His dad did that the night before we left.

It's gone now!

Beware! Ramblings from a Crazy Woman

2008-05-08T20:33:00.000-07:00

Some people may wonder why I'm a little cookoo. (I know my husband does). Here's why:

6:30am - I did not wake up to the sun shining through my window, or robins chirping. I woke up to my 2 year old yelling, "MOMMY! NUMMY'S!"
7:30- The two older kids are out jumping on the trampline... It is raining today!
8:00- Quick prayer with the kids and Jaydan is off to school. Feeewww.
Put on Dora so I can at least get a little workout in for the day.
8:30-On the treadmill for 5 minutes. Phone calls are already pouring in about church stuff. (I am the compassionate service leader...Can't you tell?)
9:50-Shower, dressed, no makeup yet.
10:00- Kayleigh informs me her diaper is off and she has peepeed on the floor.
10:10- Start cleaning up the house.
11:00-lunch
11:45-Carpool to preschool
12:00-Kayleigh takes a nap! Halelleuah!
12:10-Find Kayleigh's diaper in the toilet
Start planning my lesson for Relief Society on Sunday
Start thinking about what to make for dinner
Start thinking I should go put on a little makeup
Start thinking I would rather read my new book "The Host" than plan a lesson.
Start to wish I was on a deserted island...alone!
2:30-pick up from preschool
run to the store
3:00-argue with Cassidy about doing her chores
3:30-Jaydan gets home
4:15- off to drum lessons
5:30-Baseball practice for Jaydan, soccer for Cassidy
6:00-Cook dinner, I have nothing, I make mac and cheese, I know everyone will complain
7:00- Cassidy fights with me. She is in her room the rest of the night. She screams and cry's for a half hour.
7:30- Do a little church history on my computer
8:00- Kayleigh to bed
8:30- Jaydan informs me his book report is due tomorrow and he needs props and a two minute presentation!
10:00- Jaydan to bed. I watch a show.
11:00- Jeff gets home from being out of town, snuggles me and says"hey baby." AAAHHHHH

AND NOW YOU KNOW WHY I'M A CRAZY WOMAN!

Petunia Pickle Bottom

2008-04-28T20:28:00.000-07:00

My two cousins, Mary and Winter have officially gotten me totally addicted to this line of baby gear called Petunia Pickle Bottom. You can find the line in Nordstrom, but if you go to

http://www.petuniaoutlet.com/ it is usually much cheaper.

My favorite is the boxy backpacks.

Sweet Baby James

2008-04-21T11:46:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, April 20th, was the 2 year anniversary of my nephew James Joseph Krainich. He was almost 2 years old when he was sent home to his Heavenly Father. My family will be letting balloons off into the sky tonight in his memory.
Please visit the link below to view a small video made by James mom, my sister-in-law in his memory.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MJfgmZuE1I

Jaydan did not know his cousin very well, but this picture of Jaydan with James will always be precious to us.

The TERRIBLY, TERRIFIC, TWO'S!

2008-04-15T20:23:00.000-07:00

Today my baby Kayleigh turned two years old! She is officially not a baby anymore. It makes me sad that they grow up so fast. She is such a cute little thing, but don't be fooled by her cuteness! She is a handful and a half!! She has a mayjor sassy attitude too...(Hmmm...wonder where she got that from?) She is definitely my little buggy boo! She really is the most precious little angel ever!

She doesn't want ANYONE to help her open her birthday presents!

OK, she's happy now. NO ONE HELP HER!

This is my lotion she got into while I was having a church meeting downstairs. ( I thought she was quietly watching Dora.)

What you are seeing on her face is not chocolate. It is MAC liquid eyeliner! The entire pot is now on her face! She owes me $20 bucks! Actually, Jeff was the one babysitting that night.

BON JOVI CONCERT

2008-04-01T11:56:00.000-07:00

Last night Jeff and I went to a Bon Jovi concert with our cousins Adam and Mary. I love Bon Jovi and we had a blast!! We had great seats and great company. Cutie Chris Daughtry opened the show and we rocked out all night long!

BON JOVI

BEFORE THE SHOW

DURING THE SHOW!

END OF THE SHOW
WE WERE POOPED!

Our New Puppy

2008-03-24T11:47:00.000-07:00

Well,

The Easter Bunny decided that a new puppy was a better idea than a new bunny. I don't know what that Easter Bunny is thinking! He must be crazy! Oh well, we love our new little puppy. He is very well behaved and doesn't cry or poop in my house.... YET.

He does not have a name yet, but we are working on it. We would love your suggestions. Our present dog Daisy also loves the pup. She even lets the puppy nurse off of her for comfort. (She has no milk) Kinda weird, but so cute.

Easter Morning

NO Bunny for Easter

2008-03-19T11:06:00.000-07:00

OK,
So the votes are official. Jaydan and Cassidy WILL NOT be receiving adorable little bunny rabbits for Easter. I have to admit, we haven't had the best of luck with rabbits in the past.
Have a wonderful Easter!!

New York City!

2008-03-10T12:59:00.000-07:00

I just got back last night from a GIRLS ONLY, 5 day vacation in the big apple! It was so fun! There were 8 of us girls, and we just had a blast. I'll give you a quick overview of my vacation:

On Thursday, we went to "Live with Regis and Kelly". I wrote in 3 months ago and got 8 tickets. Unfortunately, we sat in really bad seats and didn't really get on TV. Oh well, I was having a bad hair day anyway.

Chrissie and Michele

This is

my friend Jill who got picked to

be the Yetti Dancer. I am the one taking

this picture. Watch the video to see me talking

to Kelly.

On Friday morning about 3 am, we all woke up to a huge, loud BOOM! I

mean, we all jumped up. We found out the next morning that an explosion had gone off in time square (where we stayed). No one was hurt thank goodness
*Friday was a big shopping day. Walked, talked and shopped all day! Oh yeah, we ate a lot too!

Saturday, you guessed it! MORE SHOPPING! We hit canal street this time and shopped for scarves, purses and jewelry.

All of our new purses!

Sunday we went to church and sadly, we had to go home. I was excited to get back to my family though. Can't wait to do it again.

I have been to NYC several times. We even lived in Manhattan for 3 months in 2004. My favorite all time thing to do in NY is Broadway Theatre. Here is my Broadway review from this trip:

JERSEY BOYS!
I Loved Jersey Boys! It's the story Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. The only bad part was that it has A LOT of swearing!

Me & Christian Hoff from Jersey Boys.
LOVE HIM!

Another Jersey Boy!

SPAMALOT

Silly humor, laughed because it was so dumb.
The fun part was our friend Betty was brought on stage
and got to meet the cast and get a picture with Clay Aiken.

LOVED MARY POPPINS!

LEGALLY BLONDE
Our favorite! Laughed from beginning to end!

Perfect play for 8 girls in NYC.

We got a vanilla almond steamed milk from starbucks every night!

And didn't go to bed until 2 or 3 every morning.

Can you say TIRED!

*************************************************************************************

And now....

A moment of silence please...

For MY GUY...

Who we did not get to see in person...

But felt in spirit...

DEREK JETER!

My Husband

2008-03-04T11:47:00.001-08:00

Being married to Jeff is a lot like being married to...

RAMBO

JACQUES COUSTEAU

MARATHON RUNNER

TARZAN

EVIL KNEIVEL

MOUNTAINEER EXPLORER

RICO SUAVE

HAPPIEST & FUNNEST
GUY YOU WILL EVER MEET!

FATHER OF THE YEAR

PRETTY MUCH THE MOST
PERFECT HUSBAND EVER!

A stroll down memory lane

2008-03-03T20:55:00.001-08:00

Lake Powell 1999-Michele,
Genesee, Tyler and Nicole

About 2 or 3 yrs old here. Nicole
Theressa, Michele and Genesee

In Grandma's wedding

Sambrano Family 1993? I think

Me and my twin sister Nicole
Then and Now

Michele, Shannon and Nicole

Cousins at the River-Above 2007,
Below 1996

Moments in Time

2008-03-03T20:36:00.001-08:00

My very dear friend Jennifer, who is a photographer, came to my house to visit a few months ago. She captured some beautiful pictures of me and my children. She has a natural talent for photography, and I will always treasure these pictures.
You can visit her website at http://www.fausetphotography.com/

Quotes that get ya good!

2008-03-03T12:58:00.000-08:00

This quote is from my friend Jen's blog. I had to post it because I need to live by it. I tend to become obsessed with cleaning my house, that I forget I have 3 little angels who need my attention. The dirty floors and laundry can wait! At least for a little while.

My favorite Poem ever!

I have this framed in my house with my kids handprints:

HANDPRINTS

Sometimes you get discouraged Because I am so small

And always leave my fingerprints On furniture and walls
But every day I'm growing --I'll be grown some day

And all those tiny handprints Will surely fade away

So here's a little handprint Just so you can recall

Exactly how my fingers looked

When I was very small

Hurray for LASIK!

2008-03-03T12:46:00.001-08:00

On Saturday March 1st, I was given an incredible gift. It is the new gift of sight. I have been wearing contacts and glasses since I was 13 yrs. old. I haven't known what a world without contacts could feel like. Well, my wonderful husband gave me the opportunity to get LASIK eye surgery, and it is a whole new world. I was in quite a bit of pain all day Saturday, but today, besides a little bit of tenderness of my eyes, I can see clearly! It is amazing!
Yeah for LASIK!